Naked conversations

Hey fam, i recently published an article for "The Naked Convos".

Disclaimer: 90 percent of all you read is real. 10 percent was...well ..just made up for reading pleasure. Enjoy.

It’s a thursday evening and i’m rounding the day up by trying to catch up with the latest posts on TNC. This particular true life story titled “My Culture cost me the love of my life” catches my eye and inspires me to share the current quagmire in stuck in.
This is also a true life situation, so real names aren’t going to be used here (whatever purpose that serves). I’d also like to apologize in advance to all readers who aren’t from the Eastern areas or who have no idea about the subject matter at hand.
I thought i knew what pain felt like but holding Janet in my arms as she curled up keening (i understand that word perfectly now) in pain almost broke me and introduced me to pain by association.
Our first encounter strangely enough, was via a phone call. I had finally summoned up the courage to get my teeth a long overdue dental appointment. Her number was the contact for the dental clinic and that’s how we hit it off.
Now in my early thirties, i’ve had more than my fair share of relationships but the four months Janet and i dated were the most exhilarating i had ever spent with anyone. From the movies to the malls and the parks, we explored everywhere like two giddy teenagers and it was awesome. I learnt all available routes  from Ajah to Iju (Lagosians here will know what i’m talking about) where she was staying , making  the journey (that’s only the proper term for it) without a care and we spent days  getting to know each other. She took time to learn Mortal Kombat with me (She is a pro with Noob Saibot!!)and on weekends, she’d come over to cook, walking around the apartment in those killer bum-shorts of hers.  She wasn’t the perfect girl though, she had her flaws and all but the skoi skoi only made her real to me.
Summary: I was neck deep in the proverbial love which people always talked about and loving it.
Fast forward a month later and i’m ready to call time on my bachelorhood. This was real and i was ready. The only problem was that anytime the topic of visiting the village came up, she’d be strangely quiet and distant. I had asked her several times if there was any issue i had to know about and the answer was always negative.
Family plays a very big role for both of us and we’re very very close to our respective ones.
My folks stay in the village and are very big on tradition. As is the custom with Easterners, i inform them and they’re both ecstatic. They urge me to bring her for a visit soon and commence their enquiries into where she’s from and so on. We’re both from the same state so it makes it much easier for them. Thursday afternoon, I get a call from my dad who urges me to call him back asap. I call him and receive news which makes my world go dark.
From investigations, Janet’s family is “Osu”. The so called “untouchables” while i’m not.
Ladies and gentlemen, despite Christianity and modernity, this unfortunate situation still persists in Igbo culture. The Osu caste system is an often ignored, ancient tradition which affects so many young people in the country till date.
In theory, the “Osu” caste are made up of a small section of society whose ancestral lineage can be traced back to the slaves pledged and often used as sacrifice to the old native gods of the Igbo nation. These slaves and their descendants were presumably cursed and are traditionally regarded as second citizens. Title taking and marital unions with “free born” citizens are totally forbidden.
Personally, i’m marginally aware of it’s existence and couldn’t care less about an archaic tradition but I’m devastated when the ramifications of going against this tradition are fully explained to me.  Ostracization and discrimination from the community, and the biggest blow of all, total family disapproval of any union. In the case of any defiance, a very strong likelihood of your immediate family disowning any “freeborn” who marries an Osu.
Bottom line, as i am gravely informed by my dad, “my dear son, you cannot marry that girl...... it is a taboo and is not possible in our tradition”
Seeing as my three siblings and i were closely raised alongside our extended family, my family means the world to me and that bond has remained unbroken throughout the years. I would literally kill for any of them as i’m sure they would for me.... and hearing my dad speak with that conviction and finality in his voice assures me that this is not something to be taken lightly.
Janet comes over during the weekend and noticing my depressed mood, proceeds to try and cheer me up as only she can with a weird new way of dancing shoki...... Normally i’d be in stitches, but instead i sit her down in order to break the news to her. My intention is so we can discuss what this means to our relationship and see if we can find a way through the mess.
As soon as i mention my family’s findings, to my dismay, she retreats away from me and her body starts to shake in a funny manner.
 “not again....chai, not again” Janet starts muttering and breaks down completely into tears.
For the first time in our relationship, i find out that she’s been keeping something this big away from me. I’m further broken when she later confesses that the families of two previous suitors had rejected her for the same thing.  One had even gone to the extent of taking some priests to plead with his family.
She.had.been.aware.of.this.and.did.not.tell.me!!
If  i’m ever asked to write an essay on the worst day of your life, that Saturday evening has no comparison. She cried  all through the night, asking God  “why me??” and there was virtually nothing i could do to console her.
Not only am i now desperately torn by this situation but Janet has become very withdrawn and has refused to see me since February this year. I learnt from a mutual friend that she had a serious health breakdown and particularly insisted on not seeing me. I’m in literal pain right now and depression is a constant companion.
I’m not really asking for advice but your comments would be appreciated.

Catching up

Hey fam..

Long time indeed. sorry for the absence....life just caught up with me and...hmmmm lets just leave it like that o.

So much has happened. Where do i start sef?.

Okay. So i met that special lady i had been waiting for all this while only for issues to come up and  torpedo the whole thing to smithereens. Yeah it was that bad that i had to write an article on it.Here's the link...http://thenakedconvos.com/osu-tradition-broke-relationship/......might post it on here later.

Yeah, shit happens.

After the silly accident that happened with Suzie the other time (read Here), i had had enough of it all and ladies and gents, i had to end my two year relationship with her and put Suzie up for sale. Funny enough, the speed at which the transaction closed out was shocking and in the process of completing it, i got wind of another available vehicle for sale. With the proceeds from Suzie's sale and a lot of borrow borrow, i got another car.. A Nissan Xterra SUV which i've humbly christened as Brutus.
Brutus comes with his own baggage but with my trusty old mechanic, Moshood in the mix, we're gradually sorting them out one at a time.

Cool right?...NO...not cool. my account is literally in the red right now and we haven't even sorted out all the issues that came along with it. Anyway, don't mind me, it was a great deal and Brutus definitely looks good with me. lol.

Nigeria's economy is getting more messed up by the day. Fuel, ladies and gents is now being sold at 145 bucks per liter. and Suzie being Suzie and Brutus being Brutus, my fuel bill has astronomically increased. Even without the jacked up prices, i was still bound to buy more fuel and now, filling my gas tank costs about N3,000 more. Suffice to say folks, Brutus has never experienced the joys of a full stomach yet.

Abeg,no look me jor...Dollar haf cost.

Okaaay...what else? My darling baby niece Amelia had her child dedication two sundays ago. It went great! The folks came to town for it and are still around. It's been nice having them in town and even though i've been designated driver, it's not been bad at all.

Oh yeah, my house-rent has expired and i don't think i'll renew it again. Landlord called me and we had a chat about it. It's been mad fun in that house with lots and lots of good, great, awesome and not so awesome memories but i think it's time to move on. will update you all on the situation soon.

Well,that's enough for now,...i just hope that the tight economy will give me time to frequent here more.

Toodles.