For the love of Oha

 

There is something about growing older and getting stuck in your ways.

See, Chioma and i are fantastic together and we have a happy marriage but of course there are the fundamental difference which i consider a good part of being in a healthy relationship.

One of them, that has changed a lot over the years is the degree of our love for trying out new food.

We both used to love the inquisitiveness of new cuisine(still do to an extent) and had bucket lists of trying out new food from all over the world. Now i find myself, alone in the strange position of dreaming of Ofe Owerri and Nigerian Indomie noodles...lol. Two things basically triggered this post.

1. For days now, Chioma has been on my case to finish a pack of frozen Lasagna which we bought in giddy anticipation some weeks ago. The truth is i have as much desire for it as  Bola Tinubu has in being a clean politician: None whatsoever.

2. There's a bowl of Oha soup that we cooked some weeks ago which ( and i'm being honest to God here) turns me into one of Pavlov's dogs whenever i get hunger pangs. 😂😂😂

It's so strange but i finally understand the phenomenon i witness everyday at Mama Calabar, where people come and spend the equivalent of my 2-week wages on Nigerian food. The truth, for me is also that some of the food we read and hear about have such good PR that the reality can be very soul crushing once you try them and realize they were all overhyped. My darling wife is not discouraged of course and will continue the explorations.

 Actually i'm working on a list of these over-hyped food items. Starring actors: Lasagna, Tacos, Sushi, British Fish and chips, One variation of Indian curry rice that i cant recall the name, Shepherd's pie, Cup noodles and counting. (will update as appropriate)

This is not to say we havent had some great foods..of course, there are but right now, i'm fighting hard to stop salivating while thinking of a microwave, hot Oha soup and yellow gari.

Twists and turns.

 

Life can come at you very fast you know..

So, before relocating to London, i'd always known that the initial settling down period can be a very trying time, especially with the thought of starting the rebuild process. This is more pronounced when you've become used to some sort of financial independence and certain status perks gotten in your career and work history. But, mehn, it's been tough.

*Sigh*...again...Naija, i blame you for this.

Then again, i fully acknowledge that we've been blessed to find ourselves in a position that a lot of people would consider their praying points..

Thanks to Aunty Ngozi's connects, i was able to get a job in a Nigerian restaurant here in London, "Mama Calabar". Job title is Front office personnel" but in truth ...it's just a glorified Front desk/Customer service/Doorman/Waiter/Bartender/accounts receiver/any other thing of the sort...

I honestly didn't see this coming...

Anyway, the truth is...it's been very interesting. About twelve years in, (about seven in managerial level) returning to the bare bones of the customer service industry has triggered something which i had always known prior to. I'm actually very very good in Customer service.

Not to brag, but there's a very wide gulf in professionalism and attitude between myself and some of the others here and it shows.

At the risk of sounding snobbish and this is most certainly nothing against people in this line of work, nevertheless, i have to admit, sometimes, i get this "demeaned" feeling when i have to bring food or serve drinks to people. Some of whom, in another place and time, i wouldn't even give time of the day. At times, there are customers who make you feel like sitting them down and giving a piece of your mind but good home training, years of professionalism and my generous, sweet-hearted, kind nature (😄😄) always step in just in time to overrule. Of course, working with a boss who is this sweet, kind woman one minute, then switches up to become chief nagger and terrorist the next is something that really tests my long years of good-natured patience and fortitude.

Its very humbling, i tell you.

Again, i'm grateful that this is London where the majority of folks here are well-mannered, articulate and genuinely nice people who do not look down on peeps in the service industry (Unlike one yeye country i know like that). It actually makes it sometimes enjoyable and bearable. 

Due to the fucking restrictions on job selections, student working hours, and the fact that it pays barely minimum wage, things could have gotten much trickier financially for us, but the mechanics of living in London (apart from the blasted rent levels) and my darling Chinky's great job with Remote makes it a liveable wage.  Honestly, when i count my blessings, i count my wife thrice.

Hmmmm...It is well. Time to get back to taking orders for Seafood Okro, Edika ikong and Nkwobi.

Snow White and the Ugly truth

 Yeah...so it has finally snowed!

Like a thief in the night, it just crept up without warning and starting drifting down in buckets. I was at work one sunday evening when i noticed that the temperature/wind had dropped and it wasn't as cold as usual.... and just like that...snow.

Earlier that day we had gone to church in the biting cold (made worse by the fact that we had to stand for quite a bit at the bus stop after missing the first bus) and there was no inkling of it. Chijiudo even mentioned that it hadnt snowed for some years here in London. Chioma later went on to attend one of Aunty Ngozi's events while i was at work and suffice to say, it caught us all unawares.  It fell for quite some time and the roads got so blocked that they got stuck on a highway for almost five hours after leaving at 10.30 pm..!!! I was very worried and seeing as Chioma went with the house key, i was stuck outside as well. Had to go to aunty's house and stay throughout the night till they came back early in the morning.

So, after a few days, my initial impression of this oft-talked-about, romanticized phenomenon has drastically changed.

Snow has such great PR and has enjoyed such a lovely, excuse the pun, whitewashed reputation of being this nice, beautiful, pristine, harmless, roll-around happily in it thing that yeah...you really wish to experience it. Well i have done so now and hmm...even though it's quite picturesque to look at, the ugly reality of snow is that it's just a bitch of a thing. you have to constantly look out for patches of ground to walk on, It gets clumped together and becomes this icy thing that is eagerly hoping to trip you up, sometimes it comes down as a thing called "sleet"that makes life miserable, it can get into the house/car radiators and make them malfunction, snowballs are a bitch of a thing to get hit with in cold weather and trust me..snow is as cold as ever!!

Additionally, and maybe it's just me, but the few "Snowmen" i've seen, resemble things created by drunk children in Mushin..

Lmao...so maybe it's just me bitching unnecessarily about it because i don't like the cold but yeah...there you have it.

Chills. ❄❄

 Yeah..it's that bad.

I recall a post i made one time about the cold harmattan morning back in the village and i laugh in hindsight now. bruh...cold get levels.

there was so much news about the heatwave in Europe over the summer (and rightly so!). In Naija at the time, i remember thinking that they'll be happy to see the cold season come quickly....sigh..

Now i'm here, wearing a thick sweater and at the same time, trying ferociously to install this quilted duvet into my body. Daa...it's cold.

I know everyone talks about it and eventually gets used to it but mehn, it's something else. Before coming, we took all the necessary precautions of getting Winter jackets and all, so we theoretically are prepared for the weather but no one tells you about the fact that if you're not swaddled head to toe, the cold will find ways to seep through any tiny exposed crack and make life hell....no one tells you about taking care with the first step while getting out of bed so you don't set foot on the freezing hardwood floor...no one tells you that furniture surfaces absorb and retain cold,.. so care is necessary on first contact.....no one tells you that sometimes, heating is centrally installed in a house and if you have frugal minded, used-to-the-cold Eastern Europeans as neighbours, it can be an issue....no one accurately describes how "ICY" the wind can get while you're outside trekking back home and certainly, no one accurately described how long internal chills can grip and make you shudder once the cold gets into your body and gives personalised insight to the phrase "i can't feel my fingers".

Again, with hindsight, you recall stories you heard in the past, of abroad people taking baths once or twice a week and remember how your lip curled in mild disgust...You understand context now. (The weather can only be the obvious explanation). You notice how smoking is insanely popular over here. Everyone seems to be into it, and come to the realization that it isn't just to look or feel cool. That shit actually serves as a warmth alternative sometimes.

Oh well. For us, thanks to Chioma's internet-savvy shopping skills, we've recently invested in thermal clothing, heavier winter jackets, neckwarmers, head warmers and industrial winter gloves. So bring it on!!

The funny thing about all this, is that, even with all my ranting, IT HASNT EVEN SNOWED YET!!. *sigh*

Colder days yet ahead.

Enjoy!

Milestones

  Hey baby,

It's been 730 days since we cemented the best decision of our lives and to be honest.... I say a prayer in my heart every day for all the fates that brought you into my life. 

An ordinary WhatsApp status update or whispered words at night would not do here...I want to let you know how much you mean to me and make you fully understand that you are my entire universe.

To describe the last two years as "Amazing" would simply be a great disservice to what we've shared and is a massive understatement. 

I love you my baby.

Everything that's happened to us over the years..... the highs, the lows, the differences, the arguments, the happy moments, the sad ones, the major life-changing decisions..have all somehow converged together to solidify what we have, and honestly babe, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

My Chinky mama... you are an incredible person. 

Okay, I want to gush unashamedly here. 

I'm sure I've told you before but these two years have reinforced it...there's a special something about you that calls out to people and makes them love you wholeheartedly. (In my head, I call it the "Chinky charm"). 

This special quality of yours attracts grace and touches everyone that associates with you. I know, because I've been a major beneficiary. 

You've been an amazing daughter, sister, and friend. To see you grow into the role of "wife" has also been nothing short of amazing. 

Did I mention how beautiful you are?  

Heei God!!...pure undiluted Ada Mbaise beauty with a touch of posh London babe and sprinkled liberally with baddie sexiness. Yes o...who dey breet!.

There's so much I want to say and funny enough, it's not difficult to put into words. 

I acknowledge it's not been easy for us. We are different in some respects.... differing music tastes,  water temperature choice for cereals, personality choices, love of buka food (lol), calling vs texting, procrastinate vs get it done now, random beer joint vs posh restaurant....etc..

However, Babe, do you notice that somehow, we've managed to start understanding our differences and accommodating them subconsciously? I think of it sometimes and realize that this is a very good thing and we're on the right track as far as a long happy marriage  💑 is concerned. 

I bless God for you again. 

I confess unreservedly that you are the driving force for all the positive things that have been happening in our lives and yes my love...(before you roll your eyes at me) I know I should listen to you more.. lol 😆. 

I pray today that God will keep blessing us. All our hearts' desires will surely come to fruition. We'll definitely start a beautiful family of our own and celebrate many more years ahead in love with each other as if it was the first day, travel a lot, make maaad money, progress positively in our professional lives, help our families progress as well and generally become everything we've always wished for ourselves. 

I love you baby. 

Thank you again for being in my life and making me happy. 

Cheers to the next 58 years ahead (or so)!🥂🥂

edit: Oct 3rd. Second anniversary post 

London.

 May God punish all things poverty related! (AMEEEN!)

You know, it's one thing HEARING how things work in other parts of the world and actually SEEING these things directly.

As i said in one of my previous posts, i don't want to always come off sounding like one backwoods bumpkin, but it's always a startling, pleasant shock to witness an organized, functioning system in action. I actually think culture shock has never applied to me personally (I'm a bit too urbane and well-read for that 😉😉)... It's always the realization that this is what and how things should have applied back home, that gets me down in the dumps.

It wants to make you weep for Nigeria.

How do i even begin to describe London? Maybe i'll do it from my personal perspective. (What else??🙄🙄).

People first. I'm not sure why, but almost everyone i've met are all from outside the United Kingdom!! London is such a mixed pot of everyone and it always seems like you're hearing every language in the world apart from actual English. Even when you do, it's either heavily laced with native accents or coming from folks who have obviously lived here all their lives.

Of course, I'm aware that there are lots of British people born to immigrant parents and all, yet the sheer number of foreigners in London is pretty impressive. It's funny because a lot of folks here have started adopting British mannerisms...(both good and awful).... the polite indifference, mind-your-business attitude, always-in-a-rush movement patterns and weird addiction to pets. Despite it, you can actually tell that once you make the first move, people here are genuinely good and very very pleasant. Matter of fact, people here insist on being friendly and charming once you initiate conversation. Coming from my gidigbo Lasgidi background, it's actually a fantastic change in mindset. Opening doors for others, giving up seats for people in need, the politeness, actually obeying driving rules (i know right!!)....it's all ingrained in folks here and thats so good to see.

I haven't decided whether maybe its because we're in London and mayhaps they're some badly behaved people in other parts (yeah..racists, i'm referring to you pricks) but personal experience has been good so far.

The economy is great too. Very funny seeing as there are so many complaints from people here about it being very bad now, what with Brexit and all but looking at it from OUR perspective, LMAO.... again LEEMAO!! It's actually pretty decent and you can very easily make a living doing anything. Food here is so cheap. I remember the first time Chioma and i went to Asda (our current favorite supermarket) alone, we had to restrain ourselves from getting everything we needed and a whole lot we didn't need. Some things we would have to budget-buy in Lagos were just regular off-the-shelf stuff. Crazy. (p.s Chioma is a shopaholic (don't tell her i mentioned it. She's not aware)). Overall, its not difficult at all to live easily here.

I think one of the best parts for me is the public transport system here. Never have i been more comfortable not having a car than i have here, because everything is so organized and well run. Trains are great and run on time, buses are generally on time as well. You just have to make sure you time yourself properly and you should be fine.

This paragraph is officially dedicated to giving a major middle finger to NEPA aka PHCN aka Terrorists aka bane of my previous existence aka darkness demons aka economic stiflers...and the list goes on and on.... After four decades of my existence, i'm finally experiencing and adjusting to what 24 hrs power entails. Oh yeah!!..there are actually adjustments to be made. Stuff like not having to warm your food twice a day, power banks, rushing to iron clothes, charging devices ish, generator noise, inverter wahala etc are all things of the past. GLORY HALLELUYA!!. E dey shame me to even pen this down but i still have PTSD whenever i hear a sudden siren sound. If you know, you know.

School is a whole new world as well. I'm studying Human Resource Management at the University of East London and make no mistake, its been a bit tough, seeing as my last academic engagement was almost a decade ago but all in all i've settled and doing quite nicely. You see we Nigerians? we can make noise about japa but compared to Indians?? we are learners. My class is full of Indian students. Fortunately for me, i have a lot of experience dealing with them (from Freshdesk and Nairabet) so its been okay. They actually like me a lot (who wouldn't 😎)so we get on very well. 

The housing here is one of the major downsides sha. Like how do these people live in such small rooms and houses?? I jokingly compared the room sizes here to our boxroom in boarding school and i'm not even wrong. Coupled with the fact that almost 60 - 70% of income here goes to paying rent in London!!!. It's just absurd. Sometimes just for the fun of it, i wonder how much our apartment in Silverpoint estate would cost here. lol. Anyway, everything cannot be always great yeah?

Even though we are now residents, Chioma and i officially did the mandatory tourist rounds and really, London is beautiful. So much history in the streets, buildings and locations...can't describe it all but the following pics capture just a bit of what is a beautiful city and our new home.

New beginnings

 My goodness!

At this point, i can't even claim that it's being busy that's kept me from posting on here.

I have just resigned myself to the fact that if I can actually go more than two years between posts on this "blog"...then so be it. No more apologies, no backward glances, no beating myself up...just accept it and move on. (Minions be damned) and well...so should you, dear reader.

There's so much to update on that i don't even know where to start. 

So, I'm currently writing this draft early, wrapped in a quilt, on a freakishly cold December morning in.....(drumroll).....LONDON!!!

Yeah, so first and most important update...we took the plunge and decided to "Japa" from Nigeria and all its wahala. No need to linger on how stressful the relocation journey can be. See ehn.. i just know that this was one of the hardest decisions we've had to make. Chioma and i sat down one day and had a conversation about how the direction of our lives would go...despite a couple of absolutely great breaks on our parts..(My brilliant wife landed a series of well-paid jobs) the outlook on staying in Naija was still very bleak. Factoring in the current disastrous economy, oncoming recessions, tribalism-laden political climate and to put it simply, the planlessness of the Government, it was a no-brainer.

Naija 1-0 Okechukwu

We started planning on how to make this happen and again, all credit to Chioma. My wife has this uncanny knack of fixating on things and making them happen. Great stuff because, if i'm being honest, except for vacationing and infrequent trips, the attraction of actually living "in the abroad" has never appealed too much for me. (I'm not sure why. Maybe, we've all just assumed its a Cosmas Ibemere thing).

We researched emigration routes, destinations and plans. Eventually, the option of schooling abroad made the most sense. Since Chioma's job was remote (little blessings), paid so much better, is time zone favorable and could be translocated, we decided that i would be the one doing the schooling and she'd be my "dependent". In all these, the UK held the most appeal and so our japa journey commenced.

 Getting admission to schools here was the easiest part. Everybody and their third cousin were all applying and getting admission. The major problem was funding. How the fuck would we make this work? You see, when people achieve something and then attribute it all to luck and "na God do am o"...best believe that's all bull crap.

It was tough.

We started trying to save money and even at that, still had to take substantial loans to make everything work. In our case, Chioma's salary was a lifesaver and enabled us to achieve a lot of the requirements without running mad from worry. Family, good friends, and my input from NB salary also had to be put to work. From traveling to Abuja for a TB test to paying insane IHS and Visa fees at UKVI, from trying to convert Naira to pounds and buy relocation stuff, from putting money aside for accommodation to researching cheaper plane tickets to buy, it was all just a very big financial headache.

 Again, special thanks to family and friends who helped out in so many ways....Uncle John, Uche, Mom, Nnamdi, Sandra, Emeka, Ugo, Ify, IK and Aunty Ngozi. All the moral support was equally as necessary as the financial support which these fantastic people all rallied around to give us and make the whole endeavor a success.

Now, sitting here in our studio apartment in Wembley (mentally urging this room heater to "gbera"), i look back and give thanks for everything we have accomplished so far and can only see it as the beginning of so much greatness ahead for us!

Naija 1-2 Okechukwu!

p.s: A lot of the oncoming posts will be backdated stuff which I feel are necessary, random, and too important not to put down for posterity.