Great expectations

 It’s fascinating what confidence and a good upbringing do to children.

Guys, please endeavor to get exposure for your kids and family, no matter what. I know it’s a product of upbringing and whatnot but it’s always a pleasant surprise to encounter well-rounded kids in this day and age where everything seems all out to destroy any sort of traditional values we once held.

I had a repeat visit to my barber Alex a couple of days ago and as usual, the long delay, and multiple people were present. After a fist bump from our energizer bunny barber, I found space and sat down close to a dad and his two sons to wait (probably till eternity going by Alex’s usual shenanigans).

If I stretch it as far as possible, these young boys couldn’t have been more than four and seven years old but bruh!! The quality and level of their conversation with their dad were truly stunning. I mean, they were obviously talking from children’s perspectives, yet the quality of their questions and observations coupled with the fluency and coherence of their thought processes was mind-blowing. I could easily tell that they’ve been exposed to a very good education at this young age. That is something so attractive about the UK. Their education is really good. And it’s not just this experience. I’ve seen kids on the bus or trains with their parents and the way they ask questions fearlessly, expecting answers, and being bold about everything is something to admire. I admit, sometimes, it borders on rudeness but for the most part, it’s really strong inquisitiveness.

Again, there’s something very attractive about confidence.

I acknowledge the fact that it’s all about the quality of education. I remember back home when I engaged my niece Ifeoma (she goes to a really expensive school) and I was very impressed by the maturity, diction, and quality of her vocabulary.

One constant thread running through all these scenarios was that parents were fully involved. Hah.. if there’s anything I KNOW FOR A FACT, my kids will get QUALITY education and we will be fully involved and participative in their upbringing. I feel for them o but dem go read book tire, both educational and novels. They will also get all-round, fully involved, loving, firm parenting… so help us, God.

Michael.

 

There are those posts that you’re never ever comfortable writing down. Sometimes, thoughts and feelings can be so strong that penning them on paper actually feels like carrying out serious manual labor. If not for the fact that it actually helps to lighten the load... eventually…. Omo…some events ehn..

That’s how on the 5^th of this month, I lost my best friend Michael.

We’ve all heard that one story of premonition of future events. Mine strangely enough happened on the  4^th of April when I had dozed off on our living room sofa in the evening of that day and had a weird dream/vision/flash of being in a hall, with lots of blurred figures and signing a big book which looked like a condolence register.

I woke up in a sweat and in true Naija fashion rebuked such dreams in a bid to ward off whatever it meant. I must be a pretty terrible warder because very early the next morning, I got a message from Mike’s wife that he had passed on that same morning of the 5^th.

To be very honest, I wasn’t very surprised because he had been sick for quite a while now…Yet…that news HURT like a motherfucker!!

I and Mike go way back to our early Uni days at Unical and to classify what we had as a friendship would be a great disservice.

 Mike was a brother. My brother Mikey was so easygoing, always happy, kind-hearted, and very very friendly to everyone. At some point, I was virtually living with him and my other good friend Saint in their one-room apartment at Etinyin Abasi off Mount Zion Road where we went through all the stress of Uni life, coupled with the joys, adventures, and fun of young men growing up to become men in Calabar. 

We graduated from school and doubled up on our friendship, helping each other professionally and working together at Visafone before he went on to work for MTN and later re-united at Nairabet where we worked together for years, He was Head of HR and I was heading Customer experience, before I resigned and relocated.

 Mike asked me to be his best man during his wedding which I gladly accepted and when Chioma and I were doing our court wedding during the COVID period, Mike reciprocated by being my best man at the court wedding as well.

 I recall him writing out letters of recommendation for me during the whole relocation process even though he was seriously battling for his life during that period.

Man…words truly can't express some hurt. Cancer, you fucking bitch!!

We lived together in the same building at Badore at some point and even when I got my own place and moved out, we were always going home from work together most of the time. It was during one of our trips back home when he mentioned feeling uncomfortable about a persistent pain in his leg and that was the start (at least to my own knowledge) of this nightmare.

He went to hospitals at least thrice to my knowledge and got admitted twice for monitoring. Despite all the tests carried out, the useless hospitals couldn’t detect what was actually wrong and kept referring him up and down. I know he had long been battling high blood pressure but this one was becoming something else. At some point, he had even gone the native way where some traditional doctor performed some weird native acupuncture thing and claimed it was bad blood clotting up in his system. Well, it wasn’t.

Turned out Mike had Cancer. That nasty illness that is so hard to beat. Cancer of the soft tissues was what the doctors at UCH finally diagnosed it as. The problem here was that Cancer treatments are so fucking expensive in Nigeria and funds were very limited in his case. What didn’t we try?!! Nairabet to their credit, helped a lot and continued paying him even when he was out of commission for months, we raised funds individually and I even set up a fund-raising page Here on Donate.ng, a sort of Gofundme back home.

God bless Bose, his wife who obviously bore the brunt of everything and stuck by to care for him throughout. My heart honestly goes out to her. It’s never easy to be in this situation so young and with a toddler son to care for as well. May God give her strength always.

Mike fought this thing so hard for so long but unfortunately lost the battle this month. I feel like some light just left this world with his passing. I had spoken with him just the week before and even though the situation was dire, we still hoped and prayed for some sort of miracle which wasn't to be.

Mako my man, words are so inadequate to truly describe what I felt with your death, but we all take solace that you’re finally resting in heaven. Look after your family from over there bro, Over here, I will try to make sure Bose and Fortune never lack as long as we are still here on earth.

 

Sleep well, my brother. We go still everly jam.

 

Hair of the matter, Barbershop blues..

 “In this world, nothing is certain except death, taxes, Uchenna Ibemere not picking up your call on first ring and Jamaican barbers testing your patience.”

                                                                   – Okechukwu Ibemere, 2023

 

So I was long overdue for a proper haircut. Chioma had complimented me the last time I went to a salon near school and returned with a changed style. Even though it was a bit radical in terms of what I usually do to my hair, I decided to go the whole hog and get a totally new hair outlook.

If you know me well, you’d guess that my penny-pinching, tight-fisted minion is one of the leaders of the tribe of neurons and that reflects in the fact that I haven’t been able to chalk up the will to spend 20 pounds on a haircut. On reflection, it’s a bit shameful on my part because….come on!!

Anyway, ever since coming to the UK, the quest to cut my hair had taken me to a shop in Burnt Oak where one Ghanaian barber who came highly recommended, ended up performing below expectations, corralling my cousin Chijiudo to help with an impromptu haircut one day at his place and finally, in desperation, to a fancy nail salon/hair appointment place in Stratford where a very nice, white guy braved the elements and went out of his comfort zone to take on black man hair. This last guy didn’t do too badly and actually gave me a new look, (the aforementioned one Chioma liked). So I decided to keep it in mind to try new things.

One dreary, cold evening on my way back from the Library, I had spied with my roving eye, a lively looking barber shop close to the Maryland station where I went to take the Elizabeth train line to Paddington ..(Just felt like giving you the unnecessary info).. and I made a mental note to try it out sometime. That time came one Wednesday evening after a long class session, I decided, fuck it…I’m going in.

Even though I didn’t quite know what to expect, the loud Reggae music was the first clue that this black, handsome brother with the clipper was from that lovely Island country. There were some other dudes around, some seated casually and two others swaying to Master Marley’s Natural Mystic track. Bruh…na so the experience take start o..

I’ve never seen a more lively, chatty, all-over-the-place, constantly moving barber.

The guy was already cutting someone’s hair in front of him but was doing about 5 other things at the same time. He would run the clipper over the man’s hair for some seconds, turn to one of his compadres and launch into a whole new gist about God knows what, turn back to the unfortunate guy in the chair, spin him around to find where he stopped, continue with the haircut for a bit, stop completely, go to where his phone was charging and change the track to Marlon Asher’s famous Ganja farmer, shuffle up and down shaking his head as the song takes hold, suddenly remember his client and in the middle of going to pick up the clipper to continue, suddenly remembers he has to make a Whatsapp video call back home.

It’s absolutely chaotic.

I’m sitting there in mild shock as this guy proceeds with the video call and tries to fit in the client in the chair in between bursts of delighted Patois. We can all clearly see and hear as this dude goes on and on with his family back in Kingston as each different individual shows up on the screen and somehow, slowly, we all (including the guy still seated in the chair with the cape around his neck) become invested in this strange re-union call. The climax comes when his Grandma comes on and the dude almost bursts into tears of joy. He calls her a weird pet name, “mannany” or something like that, and kisses the phone screen at the same time… Lord!

I’m trying to make up my mind to leave but somehow, I’ve become a part of this drama and even when he takes a break from the call, he senses my resolve and turns to me and says “Big man…me soon get to ya bro, dun worry, ya turn coming next”. Sigh.

He eventually rounds up the call and finally gets back to his business with so much energy and still giving us the gist of all that happened in his family and town. Apparently, everyone was gathered for a funeral except him. I resign myself to fate and settle in for a long wait and late arrival home.

It all eventually turns out well because I believe I’ve found my permanent barber. Alex (his name which he volunteered freely) was fantastic and made it worth the wait. Came out looking, as they say it.. so fresh and clean. Best of all, he only took 15 pounds from me cos it was all the cash I had in my wallet. (Minion gives a satisfactory high five).

Judging by all the compliments I’ve been receiving on the new haircut, it’s very likely, I’ll become a part of whatever tribe lurks in that barbershop.

Sunny days ahead

 Yaaay…Springtime is here at last and at least the accursed cold weather has finally started to recede. It’s not as if the cold is gone…however, you can feel the difference.

While present even through the Winter, the Sun has now started giving more heat and it seems it's decided to work some overtime hours before heading home for the day. As a matter of fact, as at press time for this article, I am currently sitting shirtless and enjoying a warm sunny afternoon/evening brightness. Hope you didn’t miss that adjective.. let me repeat it again for emphasis..“SHIRTLESS”… Omo just a couple of days abi weeks ago, this would have been utterly unthinkable. But yes, it’s looking good on the weather front and there are surely more sunny days ahead.

This Spring weather subtly shows how beautiful this country would be during summer or similar seasons…. There are these lovely Cherry blossom trees that were the first to start budding and bringing out their leaves and I can't think of a better ambassador for the forthcoming beauty show. They are small, lovely trees that bloom in March or April, with brightly colored flowers that enhance the beauty of the environment by bunching up closely and showing off lovely colors (mostly pink)

Everywhere you go, you can see the change in attitude as well. People feel friendlier (if that’s even possible), and not to put too fine a pun on it, there’s a general spring in the step of many. Clothing items are gradually changing too…the shorts are being unearthed, skimpy clothing is being aired again in preparation and well…we’ll look forward to more stuff as the weather changes…In any case, I’m just glad the frigging cold is almost over.

Make we dey look.