Birthday Babe

 To celebrate Chioma’s birthday earlier this year, in addition to the out-of-town trip we planned here, we also decided to take our family and friends out somewhere fancy.

Trust Chioma not to play with any aspect of the day. My humble suggestion of going to a nice restaurant I had been to earlier with my team (Soho Tavern) was brutally killed (by reason of not being Insta-worthy😣). The search continued till we found a fantastic new place named “Koko”

I have to admit, she was right. This place was absolutely lovely.

We had called ahead and made reservations for the group, so on the evening, we dolled ourselves up and got ready for some fun. Confy happened to be around, so it was well-timed and she came along with us.

We set off with our friends, Chidi and Sandra, while Joy and her kids joined us there.

It was a great outing. Everybody looked nice, the ambience was fantastic!! It had this new and Insta-worthy vibe about it. Apparently, it turns out Koko Birmingham is the latest trendy spot for all the cool kids to hang out at. There were lots of young folk dressed in their peculiar half-dressed fashion who popped in later on and I realize it was a good thing we had come earlier, as the place got packed and there was pretty much no room left for the late comers.

As always, the ladies had a blast taking pictures in the picture section,

the food was amazing (if a bit pricey), the drinks were delicious..they had some signature cocktails which tasted like liquid love.

All in all, a really lovely evening to celebrate the sunshine of my life and let her know how special she is to us all. Highlight of the evening was when we had gotten the restaurant team to come bearing a cake with sparklers and singing for her...absolutely delightful!

Nuneaton

 

Hola guys...

Chioma’s birthday has become one of the annual highlights for our family and now demands its own place in the events calendar. (I learnt this the hard way)... Yeah, unlike yours truly, she realllllly takes it seriously.

So, earlier this year, in addition to an earlier outing with friends at a fabulous restaurant here in Brum, we also decided to take an out-of-town trip to celebrate my beautiful wife. Thanks to the good folk at Travelperk where I work, we still had a lot of unused travel credit, so we decided to explore other cities around. We searched around and decided to grace the city of Nuneaton with our presence.

We booked the train ride and made a weekend reservation at the lovely Hampton by Hilton hotel.

Guys…It was a great weekend away.

The city is one of those old, charming cities steeped in tons of history, and there were many things to see and do. One thing you can't fault the UK for is its History. Appears the British Government back in the day, true to their colonial nature, got a lot of the Gurkha population to fight with/for them (probably forced them to)in so many of their early wars. Apparently, these guys were hardy, tough bastards whose fighting prowess and contributions to the wars really benefited the Brits and helped them win many battles.

They were mostly stationed in the Barracks at Nuneaton and to reward them, they were allowed to settle in Nuneaton, and there’s now a huge, vibrant Gurkha-British community over there. We saw a lot of local shops and visited the museum, where a lot of Nuneaton's history is detailed.

We also saw a museum dedicated to the writer George Eliot. Fun fact, one of the earliest books that got me hooked on reading was ‘’Silas Marner’’ (a prize I won back in my primary school days) and I had always assumed this writer was a man because…well.."George’" ..duhh.. Turns out I was wrong. She was a native of the town and hugely popular for her work.

We had excellent breakfast food at the hotel buffet and wandered around some lovely parks in the town

Even though the crazy British weather didn’t cooperate with rain falling most of the days, it was well worth it and another beautifully spent trip away together.

Happy birthday Baby..

Heat and the freaks

🎵🎵 It's the summer time where the weather is fine…and you can stretch right up and touch the sky..🎵🎵

Yup…its that time of the year again over here. The sun is blazing, the bees are buzzing, birds are cavorting, the trees are in full bloom, temperatures are heading north and yes… the freaks are out!!

I know it really shouldn't surprise me anymore but there’s just something about the summertime in the UK that brings out their carefree nature as well as all sorts of weird behaviour from people here. It’s almost as if the long, cold months (and they're quite cold and long here) can be likened to solitary confinement in a prison and the few brief months of summer signal sweet relief and escape from the doldrums of forced imprisonment.

Its not actually surprising. Human beings are, afterall, social creatures by nature, and there’s something about being cooped up in your houses during the cold season that really drives people nuts. Not as if they don't go out during that period, but the terrible weather is always at your back with a whip, lashing and urging you to get back home asap.

The lovely summer weather is the antidote for all that.

Maybe it’s just me being a Nigerian uncle, but what I see every day on the streets as I pop out to work and back never ceases to amaze me. I’ve been here for about two and a half years now, yet the freedom and unbothered nature of how people walk around in skimpy (being very charitable here) clothing and exposed body parts is still slightly jarring. Of course, being factual here, it's the female folk who are the culprits here.

Now, I’ve learnt to unlook a long time ago and just pass by on my merry way, but honestly, you can't walk about with eyes closed now, can ya? It’s gotten much worse as well, with more people demanding the right to do as they please. Hmmm… I obviously know this is as it should be. People should have the right to all the freedoms associated with civilized society….However, there’s also something about public decency that seriously needs to be reviewed.

Now, I’m certainly not a prude (Lmao) but like i said, it’s still jarring and just a bit too much. Given how the youngins are being influenced by everything they see, hear and watch online nowadays, it really should give us concern as a society.  Especially when it involves children, I really feel more people (parents especially) should be involved in providing guidance and direction and truthfully be a bit firmer on the discipline scale. (Oh God…now I really sound like an elderly Nigerian uncle..lol)

With the adults, however, there’s really nothing much you can do. They’re allowed to be as freaky as they choose. Just adopt the Buhari style and become a professional unlooker. 

Also, with the weather being so nice and everyone being outside, there are much higher chances of encountering people struggling with their mental health. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people like this over here.. For those of us who use public transport, it can be a bit challenging, especially when you’re forced to be in proximity with said individuals. This is certainly not to discriminate or anything but it’s just practical realities of living here (and of course, y’all know I’m nothing but a practical guy). While being sympathetic/ empathetic about their plight, you also need to be cautious about any interactions you have. A lot of them of course, are self-inflicted via terrible life choices but there are also a lot who haven’t chosen that path, hence the empathy and understanding whenever you can.

Anyway…like I said, It’s the summer time, the weather is delightfully warm, life is up and about, the majority of people are wearing clothes, the pubs are full, the parks are alive, Kids are playing outside (as they should be) and it’s a great time to be alive!

Enjoy while it lasts. 

Use it or Lose it

 Hey folks,

It’s one of those days where I’m lying here chilling after a long week, and I suddenly realize how apt it is when the phrase ‘’use it or lose it’’ is quoted.

So, recently, on different occasions, I was involved in what used to be one of my favourite pastimes…. Playing video games. Bruh..the results were terrible

Back home, I engaged Uche in Mortal Kombat..one of my staple breakfast games, and it was astounding how he easily whooped my ass. I mean, this was something I was universally acclaimed (at least, within the family) to be the unbeatable champion at.

Other times, I tried to play Chidi and Jerry on PS Soccer (another of my faves, which I used to be very good at), and the results were similar. Then yesterday, a friend came over with a Nintendo Switch, and my performance in racing and combat games was the same. Woeful.

Bruh, I’ve clearly lost my touch.😵

It’s funny cos I used to have a moniker back then, “The games Messiah” based on my proficiency in dispatching opponents during games… 💪.. (I think there was a character like that on one game show we used to watch when we were younger).

The truth of the matter is that over the last several years, I’ve really not had the time to play games ..since 2022 when we moved over (even before then i believe), i dont really think i’ve touched a controller pad or even thought about games as much as we used to.

It inevitably showed in recent outings and just makes me realise that skills not utilized will really just degrade over time. This doesn't just apply to video games. It’s clearly relevant in all aspects of life. (even the more tongue-in-cheek applications😜)

At this point, I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that I’m a retired legend and focus on new pursuits..

One night in Kigali

 Hi guys,

As mentioned earlier, we had a bit of a delay on our way back to the UK from Naija. Not sure exactly what happened, but Rwanda Air sent us a message weeks in advance (Ibom Air, you see your life in the outside??) about our return flight being delayed by about fourteen hours.

Wow! Due to all the burial prep and other issues in Naija, It didnt really sink in at the time, but as our departure date got closer, it really started to dawn that we would have a really long layover.

No one on earth who flies ever likes that. (well, maybe except that guy who lived in one US airport for years)

It obviously couldnt be avoided, so we steeled our minds for the experience. 

Oh God…of course there had to be drama at MMA on our way back. Most of it, tbh was self inflicted. We(Chioma and I) had meticulously weighed our luggage to make sure we were within the allowance but unfortunately, Ify had excess luggage due to some irrational requests from her friend to help bring back some stuff. Seeing as we were all travelling together as a unit, the staff at the counter bluntly refused to check us in.

Chioma and Ify started reshuffling things in the bags to see if the weights could be redistributed among the various boxes (you see this a lot in Intl airports from Naija), however, physics cannot be cheated (even with both of them hilariously removing heavy clothing items and wearing them physically).

The only option was to pay an extra 120 GBP for luggage. However, I could see the green gleam in the eyes of one the staff there and long story short, let’s just say she was very useful in ensuring that our luggage got checked in.

Our layover was in Rwanda and it was a smooth flight on an albeit crappy plane. We got to Kigali around 8pm.

We had prepped our minds for a long night in the airport terminal, and as sharp peeps that we were, had even located the choicest airport benches near charging ports to sleep.

Unbeknownst to us, the lovely folks at RwandaAir had other plans for us.

As we were settling in on the hard bench, and being the inquisitive, righteous person I can very annoyingly be sometimes, I went up to the service counter to see if there was going to be any compensation for all our suffering. The guy at first looks confused by my anger. He then smiles at me and reacts calmly to my self-righteous indignation by informing me that they’ve already arranged meals and lodgings for all of us all along.

This news happily stops me straight in my tracks and it’s great to hear.

However, in my happy glow, I suddenly mentally acknowledge that this is what should be the norm worldwide and just three weeks back home in the dysfunctional Nigerian system has got me looking at regular things as huge favours. (Ibom Air, you are all mad in that your Uyo office!)

We are whisked away in a chartered bus to a fantastic hotel in Kigali and proceeded to have an extremely enjoyable evening.

Registered as a couple, Chioma and I were given a lovely suite.

We then went for a buffet dinner at the restaurant downstairs.

It was delicious!. We sat with this charming South African man who kept giving Ify the eye all through and he bought drinks for us, We had to retire to catch whatever wink of sleep we could as we were scheduled to catch the airport charter back the next day to resume our flight back to London.

All in all, I really enjoyed our brief night in Kigali. Hopefully, we get to return to a longer stay sometime soon.

Cheers!!

Mixed feelings and the Motherland Tug part 2

 Hello, good people of God..

It's been quite a while, yeah? There’s been so many things to update.

I promised last year here to give updates on how the trip back home went and... o boy.. let's just dive right in.

First, just want to say a prayer for the soul of Pa Remi Nwokoroku. His loss was such a great blow to the family. I know you’re in heaven looking down on us, and here’s hoping you’re resting peacefully, sir.

We travelled back to Nigeria in December. As I knew all along, it turned out to be a mixed bag of different emotions. Arriving at MMA2 to the irritation and foolishness that go hand in hand with Nigerian airport staff and procedures.. Good thing Chioma had come earlier on in December and given me heads up on what to expect. I just boned and informed the idiots at customs and immigration who were looking to extort whatever they could, that I was here for a funeral and was recently bereaved. To their credit, this straightforward explanation ignited some sort of sympathy switch and I was waved through without much hassle.

It was amazing to see the fam again. Bruh… that's one thing I really missed, they all came to pick me and my goodness!! You never really know how much you’ve missed these guys till you’re physically hugging and backslapping them again.

Anyway…long story short. Everything you’ve heard me and every other regular Nigerian moaning about the economy is not only true but far worse than what was just imagined. Its insane. Everything had literally tripled in price.

I went directly to Ugo’s house and the nostalgia of being in Badore again hit me hard…see my hood na…

All the kids were all delighted to see their fave uncle Okey and it was great to see my little ones shining bright and growing up so quick. God bless them. I was glad we had spent good money to get them some very nice presents.

Spent a couple of days in Lagos and then had to travel back to the Villa to get the burial sorted. 

Hmmm due to the crazy flight prices from Lagos to Owerri, I had booked to fly with Arik to PH first and then go by road to Owerri. Was a smooth flight and I got to PH airport (first time actually flying from there) on time. I hadn’t planned on any previous arrangements for anyone to pick me up so Immediately ditched my Brummie behaviour and activated Naija 2.0. Went straight to the airport car park and started hustling to get a cab to Owerri. As expected the prices were ridiculous (Airport taxi prices always are), so i asked around, found some other people going similar way and we split the cost

Some things never change. The amount of police and Army checkpoints on the road we encountered ehn!! Woo. It looked like some of these ones had been there for years and had just made the road their homes.. Our driver laughed and explained that the Army and Police guys like to think they’re peacekeepers..fighting Bakassi boys or some other rebel groups in the area.. which while not unreasonable, most certainly did not require them extorting money from drivers at every single checkpoint which were just meters from each other.

Seeing Lolo was such a thrill. No matter at what age, You’re never ever too old to be your Mother’s child…I’ve missed my mama and it was sooo good to see her again.

The burial plans were just a couple of days away from when we arrived so there was lots to do and plan for. I went to Mbaise a couple of times before and honestly was amazed at the progress made on the house we had been trying to complete since my Father in Law passed. Thank God for some of Chioma’s uncles (notably Uncle John) who really put in time, money and effort to ensure the building reached a very reasonable stage in time for the burial proceedings… (a big part of his late wishes was to be laid in state inside his own house and I was grateful that we were at least able to fulfill that for him).

As per tradition and being the good son-in-law, I activated a few local contacts and was able to buy this massive cow which we had planned for (even though the price  was beyond initial assumptions). It was a real stunner

. Honestly, considering all that my late FIL did for me, it was the very least I could do to show my love and respect. Turns out, it was very timely as well as there were the usual shenanigans about provision of meat that always accompany these sorts of traditional events.

Not to put too fine a point to it, but prior to this time,there had been some family drama about burial plans co-ordination, financial contributions and other issues (as to be expected). The good thing was that the entire Nwokoroku family was still very united in the determination to give my FIL the proper send off he deserved and it turned out so.

On the 4th Jan, we laid Pa Remigius to rest. All the usual drama aside, we managed to pull off a very decent burial ceremony and even though I got a bit heated up with the stupid Ambulance idiots who messed up the conveyance of the body from the Mortuary earlier in the morning, (Imagine, we had paid for a Hummer ambulance to come early and pick the body, and these clowns didn’t show up at all, later claiming the vehicle broke down somewhere. We had to hire another standby one for part of the way and use a personal vehicle the rest of the way), everything else went very well, if i say so myself.

The Nwokoroku family are a well loved and respected one throughout Mbaise and it showed in the amount of goodwill and love on the day. My people from Umuawuka also turned up for us. Lolo, as usual, had been phenomenal in her arrangements and coordination of events from that end.

It was great to be back home in Umuawuka. Big props to my whole family, who were able to carve out time to travel back and ensure the Ibemeres were fully represented. (God bless Ugo for all her efforts towards the success of the occasion).

Despite the poverty and economic wahala,like I said, for myself,  there’s always that love for home and that crazy “Motherland tug” which makes sure you never forget where you’re from. It was just sad to see so many folks hustling to survive and trying their best to eke out whatever sort of life they could.

Anyway, I spent time with them in the village, during which I attended my cousin Boy’s trad wedding in Anambra. He’s based in Mexico and got married to his long time sweetheart who has been patient in getting to this sage with him. It was a good event. I saw my cousins who I’d not met for a long time and had fun.

Seeing as flight prices from Owerri were stupidly exorbitant during this season, I gave myself sense and booked my return flight from Uyo which was much cheaper. It also afforded me the opportunity to see my second favourite town and visit old friends, Saint, Ekemini, Precious, Lizzy, Prince and the rest of my former crew. I loved it and it was a great side trip.

Well that was until the usual Naija wahala almost ruined it when my flight back was inexplicably cancelled on the same day by Ibom Air. I was just preparing to go to the airport, next thing I received a call from them (at least they even tried to call) telling me my flight was cancelled. No explanations, no compensation, no empathy… just a bored sounding lady telling me the flight has been cancelled. 

Okay..you’ve cancelled flight, what next? Even the madam had no idea of what to do.

I had to go down to the airport only to meet a whole crowd of irritated passengers who were stuck in the same situation as myself. Some had it worse as they had already booked connecting flights from Lagos to different destinations.

Thank God, I even had people I could still stay with in Uyo. After giving them a righteous, if pointless, piece of my mind, I went back home. Luckily the flight was later re-scheduled to the next day and I was able to fly back to Lagos.

Ahhh, my lovely Naija. How can such a great country be in such a position? 

Nothing has changed regarding the economic outlook. The hopeless government of the day is still chock full of useless, self absorbed, incompetent politicians who’re focused on self enrichment. People are suffering, the economy is in free fall, foodstuff prices are insanely high, transport cost…my God!

I honestly can’t deal.

Chioma, Ify and Myself got an AirBnB somewhere close to the airport, stayed there a couple of days and flew back to our saner home in the UK.

Funny enough, and in stark contrast to the Ibom Air fiasco, our connecting flight with Rwanda Air was also affected by a lengthy delay. However, in this case, we were fully comped in a beautiful hotel in Kigali, (breakfast, hotel suite and transport to and fro the airport)..SMH

All in all, a really mixed bag of emotions.I suspect my love for Nigeria will never fully vanish but it’s getting difficult day by day to keep it alive and for now, I’ll just stick to loving it from afar.

God bless us all.

All blocked out

 Yeah... so I haven't passed away, people..lol

It seems like I've just come down with a horrible case of writers' block, which I can't seem to shake off.

Four months and counting now...wow!

It'll pass, I know. Meanwhile, there's been so much to blog about and update. I'll certainly try to shake this off and get back into the groove—hopefully soon.