Hola Palma, Mallorca

 Hola amigos

Believe me, people, Mazi Armstrong was in his bag when he belted that beautiful ballad describing this wonderful world, full of beauty, wonder, and breathtaking places to see. Honestly, the beauty of having the freedom to travel and witness this all cannot be overemphasized. There’s something elemental about it all that speaks to my soul. 

Na money and green passport be enemies of progress.smh

Sooo, despite all the fuckery from the Spanish Embassy earlier this year, they later approved my visa and sent my passport back, so we decided to make use of the Visa before it expired in November. Keep in mind that Chioma already had hers approved before mine came out. People of God, that’s how we literally spun a globe (or in this case, the map of Spain) and decided to take an abbreviated holiday on the lovely island of Palma, Mallorca.

It was a great decision.

We started making preparations early and you know what, despite the way everyone vilifies RyanAir, I’m eternally grateful for their business model which offers safe cheap flights to different places, as compared with other airline providers. We found some very very decent flight prices and booked a return trip for 4 nights. Crossed our fingers and chose a lovely looking hotel we found on Booking.com.

We arrived a bit late in the evening and proceeded to have an amazing vacation in Palma. 

Straight up from the airport, we decided to use their public transport system throughout our stay because it seemed like whoever was in charge of Uber’s pricing model on the Island had obviously decided to sniff some colos before uploading the rates. It took a while to get ourselves familiarized with the public transport system but once again, Google Maps to the rescue. On a side note, that app has got to be one of the best inventions of the modern world. We got one of their long, articulated buses and used maps to find our way to our hotel. It turned out to be a really beautiful place, and after some check-in shenanigans, we headed up to our room with a view.

Palma’s quite obviously a tourist Island and fortunately for us, our hotel was just a ten minute walk away from the beach. We had just strolled out the next morning after the sumptuous buffet breakfast offered by the hotel and found ourselves following a stream of people, dressed in beach attire and laden with beach accessories. Ten minutes later, after passing a lot of pubs, restaurants and quaint shops selling everything under the sun (including a LOT of lovely shirts with very vulgar inscriptions), we walked into a beachfront that opened up to the loveliest beach ever.

It was quite beautiful and had everything you’d want on a beach. The weather was very sunny, lots of sand, brilliantly blue water, half-naked people with all body types nonchalantly strolling by, everywhere (Side note, white people have no concept of shame when it comes to putting their bodies on display, so its best to just unlook and ignore the bits and bobs all left hanging out in your face). 

We stopped at a Thai massage place and I had a “fish spa massage” (something I’d always wanted to do) while Chioma had a body massage in a cushioned electric chair. The Fish massage is where you dip your foot into an aquarium thingy and lots of small fish get to nibble away at your foot, presumably eating away the dead cells and any other thing they like. Sounds painful, but honestly, it was pretty exhilarating and felt like there was a live current running through my body throughout the session.

We then booked a boat trip around the island and I tell you, getting on the water was quite the thrill. The boat ride lasted about two hours and there was lots to see… Caves, coves, and some small communities living near the water's edge. The boat stopped in the middle of the ocean and some of the tourists on the boat stripped off and jumped right in. Chioma and I just dey look. Pity us biko, we haven't finished learning inside swimming pool, na open ocean we wan enter? I can just imagine our mums casting and binding any spirit that wants their children to enter water…lol.

We also booked a hop-on, hop-off bus tour of the island and went sightseeing on different days. Like so many places in Europe, Mallorca has quite a history, and they’ve taken great pains to preserve most of their historical spots and package them into tourism gold.

One beautiful spot was the Cathedral in the city center. Even though we were unable to enter, the outside had spectacular views and was worth walking around on its own. There was a beautiful moat (yes, an actual moat) all around it, and the view of the ocean just on the horizon was absolutely breathtaking.

We also toured a well-preserved Castle, which used to be one of the residences of the King of Spain. Again, you have to applaud the way history is preserved in these countries. The Castle had high castle walls, dungeons (we didnt get to go in there), a big, beautiful courtyard and a museum which housed so many historical paintings, figurines and artifacts. The Castle was on a steep hill, surrounded by a very lush forest and from the top of the walls, you could see miles ahead into the ocean. Apparently, this served as a lookout point in past times when enemy ships were trying to sail into the city.

One sad point to note was the number of black people (mostly North African origin) who littered all the tourist spots, trying to sell all sorts of goods and services. It was a bit weird seeing in real time how they would congregate in one spot and hurriedly pack up their stuff and run to another spot once they saw a police officer in the distance coming towards them. It was very sad and humbling seeing them try to make a living offering to braid hair and selling obviously fake football jerseys, fake designer bags, shoes, and all sorts.

Every good thing comes to an end, though, and we were quite sad to leave. After some very last-minute shopping (side eye to Chioma), we hurriedly set off for the airport and got informed of a delay to our flight back home. Waited at the departure lounge for a bit before they sorted their stuff out, and we safely made it back to our beloved Brum.

All in all, a very well spent vacation on a beautiful island.

Gracias Palma, Mallorca, nos vemos pronto.