Throw back thoughts

 Hey fam, what's gwan

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been getting very involved in the kitchen…refining and re-tuning my significantly accomplished cooking skills. Anyway, that’s not the direction this post was headed… 

So one day, I’ve just seasoned and boiled some amazing-looking chicken parts and prepping them for frying. I’m just about popping them in the air fryer when it strikes me how far along we’ve come with the simple everyday things we’re now accustomed to. I recall Lolo straining and leaning far back from a frying pan over a hot stove flame to avoid hot oil splashes whenever she had to fry chicken or meat back then. These days, we just plug in the air fryer, set a timer and leave it to all work itself out.

It got me thinking back to our childhood and so many specific instances of how life has advanced and how much easier things are now.

Now whenever, I get in the bathtub and turn on the shower or wash plates from a running tap in the kitchen, I recall going out every evening with a contraption called ‘’ifami’’ (a hollowed out rubber bag, with a significant length of twine or rope tied to a loop on the top) to the insanely deep well in our compound to fetch water in basins/buckets and lug them back to the house daily to ensure that there was water in the house for our daily needs. This routine became so ingrained with families in the compound then, that the well became a sort of meeting and gisting point for all the youngins back then. Na wa o. 

Related to the above and a bit gross, whenever I push the flush button after taking a pee in the loo, I wince whenever I remember that sometimes back then, we never considered doing so unless there was nothing solid in the bowl to get rid of. (Or when the smell had started overpowering the cheap air fresheners).

I chuckle whenever I use the vacuum cleaner to hoover up the house now and remember using our broom (usually the stiff midribs of dried palm fronds, all bunched together) to sweep our always dusty carpet in the living room and other rooms in the house back then. Bruh, those brooms were stressful as fuck. You had to keep pausing to hit the tops back together and ensure that the whole thing hadn’t come apart from whatever string held them together. Nnamdi almost made a career of sweeping the parlour with those things on Saturday mornings..lmao

Similar memories of hours-long Saturday washing and rinsing sessions with piles of clothes from all comers bunched up together waiting to be hand-washed in basins and buckets re-surface and now clash with the simple act of throwing them all in a fabric-softener-infused washing machine to do laundry nowadays.

It also amuses me how quickly the mortar and pestle became obsolete kitchen tools. At some point, we even used to make eba in them (Ohhh.. the memories).. Fill the mortar with hot boiling water, sprinkle several handfuls of garri evenly to ensure minimised lumping/clumps, set a kitchen stool behind and sit down, then grab the pestle and commence the hard work of pounding the whole mixture together (while hoping our itinerant Landlady, ‘’Up-Mummy’’ doesn't start complaining about the noise). There’s this special technique that only experience can give you for making Eba this way. You have to know when to pause pounding and give the whole thing a quick, heavy-handed swirl with the pestle as a lever…I can’t explain it.. Nowadays, we have mechanized pounders, Ninja-branded machines, and Buchimix contraptions that you can’t even tell what they’re to be used for. As an aside, we absolutely hated washing the mortar after this. There would be holes in the wood, which would contain remnants of whatever was pounded and these were just gross to get out.

A couple of weeks ago, since it was a bit slow draining, I poured a full bottle of solution to unclog our kitchen sink. Really effective stuff. I recall our wastewater dispersal method back then in Adeite and laugh my ass off. There was a special white (initially white but now browned from long use) reconverted paint bucket which we would scoop all the dirty water from the sink and then have to trudge outside the house to get rid of in the open gutter in front of the house. Mahn!!

Of course, all these instances are ultra-specific to me and my personal experiences while growing up. 

Change is always constant and growth is to be expected. However, the point of this mid-day rant was just to reminisce on nostalgic days back and recall that you can’t discount progress and how easy it has made life for us all.

Our kids will read this one day and will only be able to imagine scenarios like these.

Blackpool

 Hi people

Yeah fam…It’s been a minute innit and life has been going on with us all..taking us through the ups and the downs and the sideways and the everyways..

Anyway, we’ve been good and the summer has been summering over here.. So even though we missed out on the “Great vacation” due to the Spanish consulate idiots, the Evenbrookers decided to organise a family weekend trip out of town. Chidi actually came up with the idea and it was very well received.

We’d heard a lot about it, so we all decided to take a trip to Blackpool and spend a relaxing weekend there. The plan was to rent an Airbnb somewhere close by and drive down to all the tourist attractions that Blackpool offers on the days in question. 

I was in charge of renting the Airbnb, Chioma was in charge of organising the itinerary, Joy was in charge of the culinary aspects of the trip and the guys were in charge of organising logistics and activities. 

We looked into a lot of options but after realizing that it was going to be a lot financially, we cut down on some attractions and opted to do the Pier walk on friday evening, visit the Blackpool Pleasure Beach resort and the actual beach on saturday and see if we could fit in the Zoo or the Blackpool tower on Sunday.

Everything went very smoothly and we had an amazing time there. Chioma and I split ourselves and joined both families in their respective cars on the drive to and from. The road trip was a very smooth one with lots of gist and laughter. The rental was a beautiful 4-bedroom house in Penwortham in a very nice estate.

Well, as it often happens, not everything went according to plan, and a lot of our prior plans changed over the weekend. Instead of the Pier walk in Blackpool, we all took a stroll around the town on Friday evening instead, and walked by the beautiful waterfront in Penwortham. We drove down to Blackpool Pleasure Beach on Saturday morning but the resort was packed full, and we had a rough time trying to get on as many rides as possible. The beach was also a bust as it didn't live up to the expectations we had heard so much about (and there was a long “missionary” walk to actually get to it). So, instead, we organised a barbecue night where the guys prepared grilled turkeys for everyone, and we had a fantastic night.

We also weren't able to visit the zoo or anything else on the Sunday, as everyone was knackered and looking forward to just getting back to Brum to rest and recuperate.

All in all… it was a great weekend away with good friends and their families. Chinyere also came to visit on Saturday and brought her own liveliness to the trip. It was also great to realize that the dynamic and coordination between the families is very good when things like this are planned. The food was great, the company was fun and honestly, we all had a good time.

Insha Allah, we all plan to make this a thing and repeat it every year.

Unpacking.

 Fam, update on the visa issue… We had to eventually unpack our suitcase.

It's so frustrating that I missed out on this Barcelona trip again. Doubly frustrating that Chioma and I missed out on our planned European vacation this period, triply frustrating that it could have been prevented if we had foreknowledge of this shitshow from the Spanish embassy and quadruply more frustrating that we're going to lose hard-earned money on account of this insanity. 😡

We had to cancel five hotel bookings (Fortunately, two were refundable,one was partially refundable and one was booked by Travelperk) and four flights!!!...GRRRRR!!!😠😠😠

It's enough to drive someone crazy.

In all this foolishness, If there’s one thing we’ve learnt, it’s to never assume that things will go alright as long as you have a green passport.

Very, very unfortunate.

With their wonderful sense of timing, those unfortunate Spanish consulate fuckers finally sent me a message two days ago letting me know that they’ve sent my passport back. I’m not even sure if they approved it or how to feel about it. It’s supposed to come tomorrow.

Anyway, we move!

Learner driver..

 

Hi people

You know, something that never ceases to amaze me is the comparison between the standards of how things are done here in the UK and how they're done back home in Nigeria.

So, after realizing that we might have to get a car soon, I’ve been involved in all the processes of becoming a certified driver. Even though I’ve probably been driving for more than twelve years now, it’s still mandatory to undergo a lot of tests, assessments, and training before these ones here allow you drive a car on their roads.

Bruhh,.. The difference is amazing.

I remember this early article I wrote about driving in Lagos, and cringe in embarrassment now. Omo, we’re just suffering in Naija. 

There are basically three major tests you have to take here. The driving theory test, Hazard perception and actual practical driving test with a certified driving instructor. Of course, you have to pass all three before becoming fully certified to drive. I’m currently studying (Yes, you heard right…actually studying) to pass the theory part and my goodness…The attention to detail these tests consist of, the amount of safe driving practices, the rules of the road and all the other modules just make you realize how God probably assigned a special guardian angel to watch over Nigerian drivers because what we’ve been doing back home cannot be remotely classified as “Driving”.

Lol …. My introduction to driving back then was to just hop in a car with our trusty mechanic Moshood who took me out to a field and just ordered me to go ahead….

Driving over here is sooo different. First you have to get used to the left hand driving position, then there are all the rules of the road you’re mandated to get familiar with, rules of having a road worthy vehicle and then all the hundreds of road signs, road markings, safety practices, incident avoidance maneuvers, and countless other practices that safe driving in the UK consist of. 

The motorways (we call them expressways back home) here are extraordinarily detailed and very well planned. You see things like hard shoulders, rest stops, emergency telephones, digital billboards, speed cameras, and so many other features which you realize are designed to keep you alive. Even the roads are obviously planned well ahead of construction. There are so many safety-related road features that honestly boggles the mind. I used to think it was just Zebra crossing… here you’ll see Pelican, Puffin and Toucan crossing too..lmao

The amount of care and consideration in relation to vulnerable road users, cyclists, motorcyclists and animals on the road is just amazing. I swear I’ve learnt so many things that make me just shake my head in horror at what we do back home in the name of being road users.

Idiot me that used to scoff at having car insurance back then.. Oya nah..come and try it here first and see something. 

One thing in life I’m constantly being reminded of is the fact that learning, re-learning and Unlearning has to constantly happen if you’re to become a better human being. Truly, you encounter so many new ways of living that make you wish things could get better back home. It's just insane

A la Bingo

 Hi folks..

So i think I’ve mentioned it before but it still baffles me how devoted the English are to their pets. 

Dogs and Cats here are not just well looked after, they’re actually seriously considered to be members of the family. I was reading an article about the owner of Pedigree pet food company and how he became the richest member of their already wealthy family because instead of investing in the family’s chocolate business, he decided to specialise in producing pet food and other pet-related services. 

Apparently, the logic is that this would definitely be an ongoing, subscription-model business because of course, pets have to eat and be taken care of health-wise. Obviously, the love which people have for them would always necessitate these products and services… and I swear I’ve never heard anything more brilliant, business-wise.

Compare this with the disdain and nonchalance which most people display towards animals back home and it’s a real eye opener. Really, why shouldn't we be better people and accord better treatment to animals other than ourselves?

So much to unlearn and re-learn.

I was on my way to work one cold day sometime ago, and walked past this park near Snow hill where you see devoted humans walking their pets. (most of them wearing warm animal clothing!!), taking time to pick up and bag their droppings and make sure they stay exercised. Bruh..

At work, there are dedicated Slack channels where pet parents display their devotion to their creatures and I swear, it is truly something to behold. Pictures, commentaries of what they (the pets) did every day, their habits, cute videos, and so much obvious love and dedication to their furry ones.

I also recall the whole UK cancelling and nearly ruining one certain Black footballer’s career because he kicked his cat.

What a time to be alive!! Of course, that’s if you’re a dog or cat in the United Kingdom.

This Green passport life

 It's just a crazy thing innit..?

So, three days ago, I’m lying down on the couch thinking of my life and this reminder just pops up on my phone to re-emphasise the misery which my thoughts are directed towards.

For the second year in a row, I’ve been unable to travel to Barcelona for our annual summer party because, unlike most of my colleagues who can up and go at the drop of a hat, I’m limited to alternative process requirements which involve applying to different embassies to get visas and permissions to travel.

This year’s own is just a clusterfuck of shenanigans.

So earlier on in the year, around May, the company brings out a list of deserving staff who have been selected to spend a week at our HQ in Spain, and I’m on the list. Yaay!!.. So Chioma and I decided to tick off items on our travel bucket list and do a tour of Europe. We still have lots of travel credit (graciously given to us as a perk last year) so we start making plans. Chioma applies to the Spanish embassy for a tourist visa, and since my company usually helps us with the process, I wait to hear from them. Meanwhile, other staff who are going on the trip start making plans and nailing down itineraries, but us Nigerians and Africans who need the visa can’t start doing anything yet.

Nevertheless, with faith, Chioma and I apply and are granted leave from the office and proceed to book flights and hotel bookings in 3 different countries (seeing as there seemed to be no unforeseen issues previously). We plan to spend the week in Barcelona, fly to Rome, spend 3 nights and then go to Milan. Then, 2 days later, fly from Milan to Paris and spend another 3 nights and afterwards return back to the UK.

Now the wahala starts.

The agency which was supposed to help with the process delays for a bit before inviting us to travel to London for a data capture exercise. I take the day off (On my birthday, no less) and embark on a hectic trip to get this done. Meanwhile, Chioma had to apply separately for her visa earlier and pay for the express service.

That’s how we started waiting for the bloody Spanish consulate to approve the visa.

We were supposed to travel on July 6th to Barcelona, and Chioma’s own came in around the 1st. However, as I type this, the fuckers are yet to approve or return my passport. 

That’s how I missed out on the Barcelona part of the plan and I’m praying it comes in today so we can at least make alternate plans in order to be in Spain where our flight to Rome HAS to originate.

Dear God!!

If i say I’m not tired of this shit ehn…na lie. Last year it was a passport renewal issue, this year it’s delay from Spanish embassy.

Not funny at all.

In all of this, it's Chioma I really feel for as her own has come about, but she won't or doesn’t want to travel alone. 

Prayers are still up and hopefully…I can update later if all goes well.

The Evenbrookers

 Hola..

Just want to take time out to recognise some wonderful people who we have in our lives over here.

As i said earlier in posts here.. As immigrants in the UK, It’s pretty difficult to gain and maintain a good (emphasis on good) community which reminds you of home and helps keep your sanity.

We’ve been fortunate enough to have met wonderful people here in Brum who contribute positively and have become a big part of our lives.

The Agomos have been awesome friends. We’ve known them from way back in Lagos. Sandra and Chioma go waay back to their Uni days. Her husband Chidi is a fantastic guy and they’ve been very instrumental in helping us settle so well in Birmingham. Their kids, Adim and Kobi are just delightful. We’ve bonded so well with them and see them always being in our lives.

The other family, we met here in Brum through the Agomos. Jerry, Joy, and their family are also wonderful people who have made a positive impact and have become really good family friends. They also have two lovely active kids, Jolene and Jayden, who keep everyone on their toes..

Its so important to have a support system here and we’re really thankful to have these guys in our lives. We all stay within the same estate so its easy to bond and affect each other’s lives positively.

Long may it continue!!