When Love is not enough

Why is Nigeria like this?'

So i'm in the office having a discussion with a colleague and i'm shocked at what she is saying.

This is a well liked Yoruba lady who happens to be married to an Igbo man. First statement she makes that really got to me was this:  "As for me o,i will never allow my daughter to marry a man from Igbo tribe"

This, coming from a lady who is herself married to an igbo man. Naturally, i jump in and add my two kobo about how that mentality is so 1945ish and that it really shouldn't matter where someone is from and all....Turns out she's been having problems getting his people to like her and accept the fact that their son could get married outside his tribe.

After agreeing that she might be unfairly generalizing, she accepts the fact that i'm right but still maintains that it's a total no-no for her again. I brush it off and assume she's in the minority. Later on, i think about it and realize that it's not just the way she as a Yoruba woman feels, it actually cuts both ways. I'm very certain that i have several Igbo folks that would certainly not want to marry a non -Igbo girl.

Truth is that there is this mostly unspoken generalization by us as a country about how we perceive people from other tribes within the same Nigeria and honestly, it really sucks!.. I can go on and on about it but i won't.

In this day and age, why do we still do this to ourselves??

We need to be more open and focus on the fact that we're in this sinking boat together o. The sooner we realize this, the better for everyone. How unfair is it to wrongly generalize and label people into different boxes based on some stupid sentimental ideas handed down from our misguided elders?

To be fair, inter tribal unions happen fairly regularly,but in the case of about 80% of them, there have always been little issues -wranglings and squabbles or full out war of the tribes based on this archaic notion that "WE" are better than "THEM".

Personally,i have no particular preference about whom i choose to hitch up with. The only thing is she has to be "THE ONE"  and should be worth all the time and effort. Honestly, From all sides, this negative mentality has to stop. You hear issues such as - language barrier, Traditional values, tribal characteristics (real and imagined), inability to cope with Culture bla bla bla....

I really worry for our country o. There is still this undercurrent of hatred and bigotry that simmers just below the average Nigerian psyche.
It shouldn't be so.


Shouldn't love be enough? heeem ya!!