Changes...that's just the way it is

 That’s just the way it is…. things will never be the same…

That’s just the way it is…. Oh yeah…

Changes (Tupac, 1992)

 

Some lyrics come to mind and are very apt in describing certain situations you’re reminiscing on.

We recently received a call from my dear cousin Vivian that her family was in the UK for the holidays and they were thinking of coming to see us. Chioma and I were really pleased as it’s been such a long time we saw her or her husband, Osagie, They have twin children now too and it would be wonderful to see them. We sharply sent our address over and were looking forward to it. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to make it anymore as the logistics of UK life, travelling with Kids in tow and other vagaries of life meant they were not able to make the trip any longer.

Anyway, it just got me wondering how vast the gulf has become between all of us in our generation as an extended family. Albeit through no real fault of ours, we’ve all grown to seek our separate ways and life has made it such that it’s almost an all-man-for-yourself type situation now.

With our generation, as kids and youths, we all grew up pretty close to each other and there are several cherished memories of visiting each other, staying at each other’s houses for holidays, living with one another, and generally taking time to actively be involved in each other’s lives. Our parents really took time out to ensure that we all took regular parts in each other’s lives in a way that nourished the family bonds.

Unfortunately, It’s not the same anymore

Asides generic messages on social media in response to birthday posts and other special occasions, I’m not sure a lot of us cousins have REALLY kept in touch with each other. There’s this situation where everyone seems to have gone their individual way and it’s become more of everyone minding their own business and lives. Understandably enough, japa and adulthood has played a major part in all this.. yet I can't help this wistful feeling when I think about how it used to be back in the day.

The funny part is that.. there is absolutely no rancor, family issues or problems between us AT ALL. (well, maybe apart from one or two weird situations truthfully) and if we happen to find ourselves together at any point in time, we’ll all be happy and GENUINELY glad to see each other.

Shoutout to Aunty Ngo and her family for all they do to bring the family here in the UK together from time to time so that we rekindle the family bond and ensure that there’s still a semblance of unity among us all as an extended family.

It’s just so weird the way life, japa and adulthood has taken away a special part of what we had as a family and left us with this …situation…which we all find ourselves in.

I guess, that’s just the way it is..