A couple of days ago, I was going over some of my past posts
on here and my goodness…. I realized that the amount of times I complained
about lack of cash and the terrible economy numbered quite a bit. Of course,
this was still back in Naija and was very understandable. There were so many
things I wanted to do but no way to financially get them done
However, things have changed. Thank God for provision and
growth. Even though things are still a bit shaky overall when I open my banking
apps, I certainly can’t consider myself in the same position I was back then.
Now a whole set of new challenges have popped up.
How do I balance the urge to make more money and find time and ways
to enjoy myself without feeling guilty about the opportunity cost or alternatives I
have to forgo?
It’s weird I tell you. I’ll try to explain
Unlike in Naija, you wouldn’t need to tell me twice about
going out to Bims garden with friends, , buying this item, going to ShopRite or
the cinemas or generally hanging out whenever the chance and finances, presented.
Here, I have to exert a conscious and intentional effort to do the basic things
I’ve always enjoyed doing.
You have to be deliberate in deciding whether to hang out or
buy this item or take that trip because it’s all too easy to fall into a funk
and slip into a mindless routine that excludes all other activities.
It’s been happening
to me recently.
Weekday: Wake up, sneak out of room (before a certain grumpy
not-a-morning-person swears for me), lay in the living room and press phone for
a bit, prepare and head out to work, close in the evening and get on the bus
back home, eat, watch tv with Bae, doze off in the middle of whatever we’re
watching and eventually go in to sleep and cycle starts all over again
Weekend: Wake up, sneak out of room (before a certain grumpy
not-a-morning-person swears for me), lay in the living room and press phone or
laptop or TV for a while, catch up on calls to family, clean the house with
Bae, (Go to church on Sundays) settle in to watch football till evening or go
shopping depending on the week, come back, eat, watch tv with Bae, doze off in
the middle of whatever we’re watching and eventually go in to sleep
The irony is that there are countless things to do and
places to go but the time and desire to do these things is just not there. I’m
not sure if this is an indicator of middle agedness or one of the sneaky
symptoms of adulthood but at a point, it gets tiring, (at least for me)
The firm conclusion is that I have to be deliberate about
getting out of this silly cycle and put myself out there a bit more. Make new white
friends (Chioma mentioned one day about how it was easy for me to engage folks
here and I know it’s true), start new hobbies (again, my wife has one-upped me
here. She has this lovely new hobby of making resin-based artwork. Trust my
bougie babe!), and even though I haven’t gotten to that point where I can
comfortably say money is no object when it comes to buying things, try to enjoy
life a bit more, do more online shopping (maybe), stop at a pub after work, close
eye and buy tickets to go watch matches at Villa Park, Maybe engage my Nigerian
neighbors Chidi and Jerry a bit more and generally, get my groove back.
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