The Naija shit show

 Good morning beautiful people and everyone else apart from the Nigerian Government and politicians.

You know, it's been a while since I mentioned anything about that country of ours, not because there has been nothing to rant about….most definitely not…..It’s solely for the fact that I’m trying my best to stay sane and not allow all the rubbish we inadvertently hear or read about to drive me crazy.

I mean how would it sound that someone who’s not even in the country ran mad because of news from back home?

But honestly….its all gone to shit.

Not as if any right-thinking person expected anything good from having Tinubu as a president, however, nobody could have imagined the scale of the utter incompetency and maladministration these clowns have foisted on us.

My goodness!! It’s all gone down the drain

The economy has been so battered, extreme poverty is now rampant, people can’t feed their families, Insecurity has gotten much worse, daily kidnappings, horrible situation with power, and fuel costs have gone through the roof. Meanwhile, amidst this complete shitshow, you hear news of the bastards in power still trying their active best to steal and loot as much as they can. This moron of a president and his people are so bad that not even up to two years in charge and even their fellow idiots who supported them initially are openly coming out to regret their decision.

There is always something bad in the news. You hear of them arbitrarily changing the National Anthem, building Multi-billion houses supposedly as the VP’s residence, nominating convicted criminals to Government appointments, siphoning fuel contracts, and using shell companies to refine and import petrol within the blasted government, the National assembly (Nassholes!) being totally incompetent while having extraordinarily exorbitant running costs and trying to pass stupid laws like the one proposing to convict people for criticizing government officials!!..smh

All this going on while people are literally starving to death.

A couple of weeks ago there was a general outpouring of anger and protests across the country about how horrible it is to be a Nigerian and it was just a minor reflection of the state of mind across the general populace. However, it was always at the back of everyone’s mind that these set of devils we have as leaders are utterly immoral and have no scruples about using their zombie police fools to shoot protesters (as they have clearly done many times before), so most people didn’t bother coming out on the streets. In Lagos, they now went ahead to instigate tribal sentiments (which always works in a stupid country like ours) and pit some ignorant idiots against people from other tribes (yes, especially against the Igbos) to make it seem like this was just politically motivated!!… I mean…

I weep for us. Truly.

Exposure has given me firsthand realization that all countries have their own serious issues. However, the difference is that they have leaders who work hard and willingly every day to try and tackle these issues and are genuinely dedicated to solving as much as they can. You see all the efforts they put into trying to make life easier for their people and you gnash your teeth in hopeless despair at the evil nature of Nigerian politicians and the magnitude of their incompetence.

It’s so disheartening to call your people back home and hear the struggle in their voices. The fact of the matter is that even though we help as much as we can, It’s never enough! There’s always one thing or the other and honestly, it’s heartbreaking. The sad realization that’s dawning on everyone is that the best way to survive is to actually up and leave the country.

But how many people can even afford to? There’s no money for immediate needs for your family talk more of planning to relocate. And don’t even get me started on the value of the Naira. The Sterling steadily pounds the Naira (I see what you did there, Okey), the Dollar is like a helium balloon in value relation and basically the inflation rate keeps soaring.

See ehn. I’m just tired.

I’ll never stop praying for Nigeria to get better but methinks I’ll just wave from far, far away and wish that country the best because to put it in no uncertain terms:

 For a nation to make progress, its political elite must believe the nation can make progress; Nigeria's political elite do not believe Nigeria can make progress.

This picture captures my feelings perfectly.

Selah.

 

Moving on up

 Hey there folks

Following up on my promise to keep y’all updated on our accommodation issues which I mentioned here.. I’m proud to say we’ve been able to secure a much better apartment, at less cost and more room than our doozy at the beautiful Harborne.

It’s been another whirlwind couple of months and we’ve had to juggle several ongoing issues… passing probation at work, settling down fully in Birmingham, paying off debt, trying to save for eventualities, Burial plans, and all other ongoing vagaries of life…. with the search for a new apartment.

Earlier in the year while trying to settle down, I had gone apartment hunting. Bruh, it’s not as bad as Naija and very well organized but still can be very tasking and draining. After some hits and plenty misses, we eventually settled for a nice 2 bed apartment in Harborne which is a very lovely area. However, it didn’t take long for disenchantment to set in after realizing that there were some major issues which we had overlooked in the desperation to get settled back then. Anyway I think I’ve mentioned all these before and will just move on jare….

The disappointment spurred our decision to move as soon as possible and trust Chioma, my wife can be a force of nature sometimes. Lol…once that decision had been made, the Apartment Ultimate search commenced. We scoured all the renting sites and saw many possible options, some we really liked and most we missed out on. She took it in stride; honestly, as frustrating as it was for both of us, I have to give her the major credit for her persistence.

It turns out that due to her constant inquiries and emails to the operators of the Evenbrook estate where our friends (Chidi and Sandra) live, they reached out to her once an apartment there became available. It came just in the nick of time as well, because we had eventually settled for a very reasonable two-bedroom option in Edgbaston named Augustus Court. We’d even put down a holding deposit and wanted to start making plans to move when the offer from the Evenbrook guys came along.

It was a complete no-brainer.

The Evenbrook option is a lovely two-story, three-bedroom flat in a massive (really massive) gated estate with several blocks of flats and very well-maintained facilities. To satisfy my Igbo blood and seal the deal, this much better apartment came at a lower rental price than Augustus Court!!

Duuh…again, an absolute no-brainer.

We forfeited our holding fee (Grrr!! 😠) and sent a very nice thanks-but-no-thank-you mail to the other guys running the Augustus Court show.

Ladies and gents, after an absolutely hectic move-in process, I’m proud to say we successfully moved into our new apartment where I’m currently typing the draft for this post.

It’s a beautiful flat and even though I was not too enamored with some aspects of it initially, after a lot of shopping (Amazon, Shein, and Dunelm need to give us shirts, shares or something..) We’ve managed to transform it into a very lovely apartment indeed! Still very much a work in progress but suffice to say, we did good. Turns out that there’s plenty you can achieve with grit, determination, and a bit of luck from the fates. We’re now residents of Pytchley House in Brown’s Green Estate Birmingham.

So many positives to (literally) take home

It's a beautiful area, we have wonderful friends very close by, we don’t need to deal with negligent landlords (The Estate is a well-run, efficient machine), it’s not too far away from my office, there’s more room now, the number of stairs (inside and outside) we have to climb will provide much-needed exercise, and the rent and other cheaper facilities will help us save more money in the long run.

So, there you have it. When you have time, come over for a visit..

Farewell sir. 💔

 Mahn..I hate writing tributes.

There’s always something about the finality of death that makes me very introspective and start pondering the whole point of our existence and what we’re really here for.

Sigh.

So, on the 29^th of June, my dear Father-in-Law, Mr. Remi Nwokoroku passed on. 💔💔

Bruh, this one pain me gaan.

Here was a man who I had come to love and respect so much that I had virtually taken him as a father figure ever since Nze passed on. He was such a well-respected and regarded Gentleman. Soft spoken and full of wisdom.

All my interactions with him were always cherished ones as he went out of his way to welcome me into his family and virtually adopt me as another son.

He had this way of making you feel at ease with his easy-going manner of speaking and several times, he took me in confidence with his life stories and anecdotes that made me feel very special indeed.

I recall one of the early times we went to visit and we had such a great conversation when he went to show me his fish pond. It was almost like old friends chatting and shooting the breeze. I felt so comfortable with him. How can I forget his insistence on not following the impossibly outlandish traditional requirements when we were doing our trad wedding preparations? He literally pulled me aside and said, “ignore all these village people and their lists, just bring what you have and I know how to sort them out”. He was that kind of person! He was very devoted to the work of God and such a wonderful catholic man. He was fondly called Elder in his parish and lord knows all the roles in different societies he took on to make sure the catholic church in the area grew and flourished.

Sigh. Death, you do this one o.

He was a proud Cancer survivor who had battled and fought off throat cancer about twelve years ago. He had been feeling very poorly recently with his Liver and kidney functions, and we had gone all out to make sure he got all the treatments he needed. After several rounds of dialysis, hospital stays and major surgery, his body couldn’t take it anymore and he passed on to glory that fateful Saturday morning.

It was absolutely heart breaking.

Honestly, you’d be hard pressed to meet a stronger woman than my mother-in-law. She was by his side all through this period, taking charge of his personal care, coordinating his hospital visits, sleeping on any surface she could find in some hospitals, liaising with family members and ensuring that things back home still ran smoothly. All the while not being in the best of health herself. May God bless and keep that woman for us.

A very personal pain for me as always was that we were not able to be there physically during this period and were not able to at least see him before he passed. Just one more terrible aspect of this japa journey. Life as always, goes on though and even though this is such a bitter pill to swallow, we have to ensure we send him off in the best way we can and make sure the good memories of him we have live on with us always.

May the soul of our beloved father, Mr. Remigius Lumenze Nwokoroku rest in perfect peace. Amen.

 

That day of the year

 

Even though I’ve been lax as hell in posting on here …it’ll be unforgivable if today of all days, I don’t take the time to scribble down a few thoughts.

Happy birthday to me!!!!

Yup… its been 42 glorious years so far. I remember posting last year about how I’m not big on birthdays…and nothing has changed on that front. No big fuss….just send me gifts and money and I’m good. Lol.

In keeping with tradition, I’ve chosen the theme for this year to be:

“Blessed and Grateful”.

 

Blessed because I have lost count of the number of ways in which God has been good to me. 

Grateful because I know for a fact that life can be fickle, and being in a position to be alive to celebrate today is a gift from the almighty.  

Again I repeat for the second year running…So many reasons to be thankful. My beautiful wife is a source of continuous blessings, I have an amazing family support system who all love me to bits, I’m in a better environment with better peace of mind and opportunities, I’m in a good job with brighter career prospects and I’m healthy.

I’m surrounded by so much love and honestly, I couldn’t be happier. You know what…I’ll just put up some of the quotes and bask in all the love and prayers of today!

Happy birthday old man. Enjoy.

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Papi Chulo, it's the beginning of another year again, yippie 🎺🎺🎺🎺

I know you are not keen on birthdays. However, I see them as yet another day to be grateful for growth and for the experience we are blessed to be going through.

I still thank God every day for you in my life,  God answered all my prayers in you and then added jara on top.

You are so good to me. You are kind, generous, patient, indulgent, respectful, loving, and a million other things.

You have made life so so easier for me, and even when we are going through life's challenges that makes other drifts apart. It only makes us stronger.

I am fall more in love with you every day, and even when we quarrel, I know it's only a matter of time before we settle ( I just usually need to be more patient 😂😂)

I love how much you are open to learning and taking in new experiences even when you know you might not like it, I love how you are ready to follow me anywhere. I love how you are always ready to help me, especially in the little things.

I am so grateful to God for you. I know we are not where we want to be now, but I know we will get there and even surpass our expectations, and this is just an essential part of our journey. I( and everyone in your life) am/are blessed to know you.

I look forward to seeing you blossom this new year, I pray for all the best things in life for you, I pray God takes your case specially and settles you (us) and I hope you grow happier everyday.

I love you, Mi alma❤❤❤, cheers to an exceptional year 🍷🍷””

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Happy Birthday to you Okey...the man who hardly forgets and the super glue adhesive that helps keep the Ibemere dynasty cemented strongly... We are grateful for you and love you for the love and care you bring to us all,even though you are far away. We pray for God's blessings to always continue in your life, bless you and your family with your heart's desires, and keep you happy and protected against every kind of negativity (in whatever form). 

Will be drinking to your health later in the evening..Enjoy your day Bro!!! and take care, all of my people!!!

 

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It's your Day!! and all I can say is Happy birthday!!!! 🎈🎈🎂🎂🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎂🎂🎂 We love you so much Uncle okay. I wish you everything you wish for yourself, Amen.

Everything you desire shall be given to you more than you expect.

Only the very best today and always from here on.

Have a fantastic day today, you deserve so much moree

 

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Bienvenido a Barcelona!!

 

Yaay peeps…My International travel bucket list items are gradually getting ticked off.

 

The good folks at Travelperk usually bring newbies for onboarding at HQ and they sent me an invite to come spend a week in the gorgeous city of Barcelona!!

Boy!! I was so excited.

Of course, Naija tried to catch me, but I dodged. Just some crazy things that being Nigerian and having this green passport does. So let me explain. Those of us who resumed together in January formed this really close-knit group of four and we’ve become really good friends. Ethan is British with Jamaican roots; Zain is British with Pakistani roots and Deb is British. All of them have passports which enable them travel anywhere they wish at a moment’s notice. My green Kpali however, needs to go through other processes in order to get a Schengen visa, so I was unable to follow them for the initial onboarding in February. Sigh. I now had to apply for a Schengen visa which had to entail me travelling to London twice for some biometric capturing, and at the end, I wasn’t even sure they’d grant it, However, the company letter and confirmed travel arrangements weighed heavily and I got a visa to Barcelona!

It was a good trip.

Barcelona is such a beautiful city. Even though I didn’t get to spend as much time touring as I would have wanted (it was a working week), it was just amazing to get away from the Birmingham weather and into some sunshine for a change. The Travelperk HQ was absolutely amazing, and I had an awesome time. The whole building was ours and is a really lovely work environment.

 Even though the onboarding had a whole gang of newbies (seems like they just hired a whole bunch of salespeople) there was a group of us (Jeff, Kim and I) from the UK who bonded quite nicely, and we had great fun after work, roaming the streets, exploring different cuisines on different nights, visiting some tourist spots and drinking on the side streets till late at night. We had company approved expenses, so why not?

I’m not exactly a Barca fan but the highlight of the trip was my visit to watch them play at their stadium against Villareal. Such a great atmosphere. I haven’t been to a stadium in ages, but this was different and special.

Bruh..i really need to start taking more pictures and documenting trips. Anyway, make una manage these ones like that. I will do better next time. 

Birmingham beckoned

 Hi fam,

 

Okay, let me get you all up to speed on some life updates.

It’s been a whirlwind couple of months for us. 2024 has been THAT year for us.

I resumed at my new customer service job with Travelperk and it’s been such a great time. Admittedly. I initially felt like I was overqualified for it because I’ve been in CS all my life however, the truth of it is that this is an entirely new industry (Business travel) and I’m a newbie here. It’s strange to be back in that call center setting, handling calls, emails and chats again…but what can I say? This is an entirely different kettle of fish! In hindsight, I realize that my CS days in Nigeria was a poor shadow of what CS should actually be. There’s so much to learn and the people over here have been absolutely amazing. I’ve been blessed to have a great team with a fantastic manager who makes me want to do and be better. It’s great that CS is one of my strong points so it’s mostly been all about getting updated on the product knowledge part and getting used to working from a different perspective when it comes to working with white people. Trust me, I’ve had to do a quick reset when it comes to work cos these lot ain’t fucking around. Fortunately, I’m a quick study and education and exposure have helped me blend in quite nicely (if I say so myself). Plus, the job is helping me finally contribute much more to our financials, so yes, all in all , quite the blessing.

Birmingham beckoned and we had to answer the call.. We’re now officially Brummies and I can tell you it’s a whole lot different from our darling London. First off, it’s much cheaper than living in London!! (The Government didn’t create a separate living wage for Londoners for nothing yunno..) Bham is a relatively big town on its own though and even though life is a bit less fast-paced, it’s still a “happening” place. The weather however, is just downright awful. This is April yet, we still have to use the heaters and duvets most of the time. Cold rain is always one minute away and the winds here can make it pretty uncomfortable.

We got a two-bed apartment in a lovely part of town called Harborne but maybe because we were in such a hurry to get settled back then in January, we didn’t take the time to really scout through houses. This one has some issues which riles both of us whenever we think of it. For such a lovely part of town, this house just reduces the brownie points. There’s a back yard which is supposed to be like your nice outdoor garden, however, our landlady (irony of ironies, she’s Nigerian) has neglected to take care of it and it’s developed into such a messy area that I’ve been forced to complain several times to her (nothing’s changes at time of press), the house EPC rating makes it quite a hassle to warm up and from the little part of the winter weather we experienced here, it can get pretty cold!. Additionally, the wifi setup of the house was such that the living room has the worst reception, which means Chioma had to work mostly from the bedroom and watching live TV was so frustrating. (I sorted it out later sha,). Long and short of it is that we might be moving to another house before the year is up. Will keep you updated.

Side note to thank the Agomos for being such outstanding people. They really helped us settle in and have been such a blessing. God bless you guys.

 

 

 

Blame it on the..

 

Hi guys, I’m just going to try and unlook the fact that I’m just posting something here after months of indecision and procrastination…. I’m gradually coming to the sad conclusion that berating myself, indulging in mental whipping sessions and self-flagellation might not be cutting it anymore, and to be honest, it’s not that deep (Even though the past few months have been chock full of things to update which I shall most certainly try to do ..smh)

HOWEVER, I have decided to put this up as a sort of accountability partner to remind myself of a sad fact which I’m coming to realize about myself. (I’m sure y’all know by now that it’s not always positive)

I make bad financial decisions whenever I’ve had some alcohol in me. Especially, when I’m around family and friends and we’re having a good time.

Mahn, I know it’s a universal thing, of course nobody’s ever woken up the next day after a rave of a night and realize that they’ve bought shares in google or something … but damn, I’ve had some back to back weeks of some financial Ls.

I’m sitting here on a Saturday morning recalling the immortal words of Messrs. Fox and Pain in their seminal collab, “blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol” and feeling a tad annoyed with myself. I acknowledge the fact that It’s not been a bad couple of months for us financially. At least we’ve been blessed to be able to afford the necessaries, and even splurge on other things but I’ve got to try and stop spending money on things which I really don’t have to. Especially when it comes to alcohol and clubbing.

To be fair to myself, I think I’m being a bit harsh because on both occasions which have necessitated this write up, I’ve been in very good company with family and friends and we were really having a good time.

However, this is a memo to self: If you don’t have to…then DON’T!!!

That extra bottle of Hennessy is certainly not necessary and sometimes, if your friends aren’t volunteering to pay for drinks, you don’t have to step up (especially when it’s not all that convenient for you too!!). DO BETTER OKEY!

Anyway, enough of the self lashing…I’m just realizing that this is my first post of 2024!!

Wow! Just WOW (side eyes self).. First post of the year and it’s fuelled by hangover blues, negative bank balance and self-flagellating thoughts…well done Okey.

 

Happy new year to you all