Mixed feelings and the Motherland tug

 Hiya Peeps.

It’s actually been decided a while back but I think I forgot to mention on here that we’ll be travelling back home at the end of this year for my late father-in-law’s funeral proceedings.

It’s really the definition of mixed feelings here.

On the one hand, it’s such a devastating loss to the family and most certainly NOT the type of circumstance anyone would wish to incur the necessity for a trip back home, yet on the other hand, I won’t lie, there’s a big part of me that is excited to travel back to Nigeria (even if its just a couple of weeks), see my folks, hug lolo, reconnect with the kids (they’re all growing so fast..Jesus!) and just generally reacquaint with the Naija feeling.

There was no doubt about the inevitability of this trip. My late FIL was one of the best of men and deserves the greatest send off we can give him and of course, we all have to play our parts in making this happen. We’ve booked our tickets well in advance and Chioma will be going back a couple of weeks before I do in December.

One thing people don’t realize is the amount of planning that travelling back home to Nigeria entails (Moreso when you have a huge event like a burial to plan for). Chioma, God bless her, as the natural planner of the pair of us, has already started buying stuff months in advance. There are clothes to buy, gifts for the immediate family to plan for and buy, serious deliberations on how to even transport the stuff we buy back home in advance of our trip, plans on where to stay in the different locations where we’ll be during the period, other social stuff we have to consider attending, are there family and friends we’d like to go and see? The nightmare scenario of how and if Chioma’ll work during this period with the power situation, what’s going to keep her occupied e.t.c

Bruh, it’s exhausting.

My logical mind is spinning off all the cons about this venture. The economy has never been great in my lifetime, but I can comfortably say this is the worst it’s ever been. There are going to be so many costs incurred with planning a successful event but God on our side, friends and family as well (and the power of the pound), I believe we’ll pull it off very well.

There are lots of logistical issues which could possibly raise speedbumps and which honestly, Chioma and I have just resolved to go with the flow and tackle along as they come.

I now understand why sometimes, my cousins who live in the US just slip back into the country unannounced and make minimum fuss about their travel arrangements. It just makes sense now that sometimes you’d want to just get away from all the stress and just plan a solo trip somewhere you feel safe and comfortable.

This is most certainly not the case here.

Anyway, I’m very excited. Despite the situation back home, the country of my birth is still my motherland and my umbilical cord (actually buried somewhere in the ground in Umuawuka) keeps tugging me back and reminding me that there’s nowhere like home.

Wish us luck. I’ll keep y’all updated

Loopy Tunes

 Hey guys… how's it going?

This is a weird one. So, I’m not sure why this happens but in recent times, once I think of any song, tune or lyric, or play it in my head, it gets stuck there for almost the whole day playing itself over and over in a loop. This happens almost automatically and most times it seems like I’m not even in control of how it happens.

It's always been like this but the recent occurrences are getting crazier.

I wonder if there’s an official diagnosis for something like this or if there’s a word that describes this sort of phenomenon.

I’ll just be going about my day and there’ll be a specific song playing all by itself in the background and replaying itself on a never-ending loop. Na wa o.

Wonder what kind of party the minions are throwing for themselves these days.

At one point, I was getting worried about if this is one of the symptoms of a mental issue. Laughable I know, but I think I’ve gotten over that and just accept it as one of my many quirks which is supposed to be embraced.

Anyway, let the music play on..

Greek

 Hey guys…hope you’re all good.

So, another year has gone by (yaaay!!!) and as part of a seemingly growing tradition with us, we decided to celebrate our anniversary by ticking off another item on our bucket list of international cuisine offers.

I did the mandatory scouting and even though Birmingham is most certainly not London in terms of the number of dining out options, there were still a fair number of great choices.

We decided to say hello to our Mediterranean brethren and go the Greek way!.

I wonder why we haven’t ever tried Greek food though..

Anyway, I scout up this lovely Greek restaurant named ‘’Mr. Souvlaki’’ somewhere near the city center and give them a call. As soon as I heard the voice that picked up…I knew we were in for a treat.

Think of all the uncles in ‘’My Big fat Greek Wedding’’ and you have an idea of the first impression I got from the voice.

We doll ourselves up and head there in the evening, after work. Suffice to say, it was quite the perfect spot.

There was beautiful Greek music playing in the background, a gigantic grill open right there in the restaurant (a little distance from the seating area though) where smoke was billowing out from, the seats were these little comfortable lounge chairs, Shelves filled with Greek wines, Olive jars, Beer, Breads, sweets and other delicious looking treats from that beautiful country.

Our host was delightful. He had this wonderfully charming Greek accent and was very attentive, informing us of every ingredient on the menu options, where it was sourced from, the manner of cooking, and everything else about the food. Once he went ahead to dissuade us from having starters on account of it not being necessary, I knew this was someone you could trust.

Turns out he was right, as the 2-person food platter we ordered was more than enough to feed four!

Bruh!!... There was Souvlaki (a sort of skewered grilled chicken), grilled meat fresh off the rotisserie, lots of warm Pita bread, sausages, tons of delicious salad, chips, pork, two different side dishes of sauces and two bottles of delicious fruit juice.

It was an absolute feast! And surprisingly tasty too.

Okay, I know the Thai food we had last year was still the best but Greek food is not so far behind. We ate all we could, had some lovely desserts (yogurt cream, cherry custard, and biscuit crumbles all mixed together), and packed the rest home to continue later on.

As they say, he who eats and runs away will live to eat more another day!

ευχαριστώ πολύ

 

 

Milestones Part 4 - ''Growing in love''

 Hi Baby..

There it goes.., 1460 days of my best decision. 1,460 days of being married to my soulmate and 1,460 days of being happily married.

Of course, I had to look back and take a deep breath. It’s been another rollercoaster year filled with highs and lows. However, the one constant thing throughout was the fact that we continued growing in love and I can honestly say, it seemed like this was our happiest year so far.

Again, I thank God for you. You are an absolute gem my love.

Somehow, our marriage has grown more, and I’m not quite sure how to put it but It’s now such an easy, seamless fitting together. We are more in tune with our moods, the handshake in decision-making is very smooth and even when there’s friction, we always know what caused it and more importantly, how to make it right again.

Again, it’s been such a crazy year…new city, new job, more challenges, and heartbreaking losses. I’m just happy that we stuck through it together and by the special grace of God, will keep getting through everything that comes our way

Like I always say, you make it very easy to love you. You’re such a good person with a kind, generous and loving soul. Whatever I did in past lives to deserve you must have been exceptional. I’m so very proud of you my love. Your strength, your determination, beauty, and even that stubborn part that pops up from time to time. The Chinky Charm is still going strong and that oil of grace on your head will never run dry

There’s still a lot ahead baby, but I’m very confident in US and I have absolutely no doubt that it can only get better and we can only grow stronger together as the years go by.

I love you, Baby. Never have any doubts about it.

So, I’d like to repeat my toast: To the life we have, to the love we share, to the future that awaits us and to the very best of growing old together…. May God always envelop us with his love and blessings now and forever!!

Cheers to the next 56!!

Changes...that's just the way it is

 That’s just the way it is…. things will never be the same…

That’s just the way it is…. Oh yeah…

Changes (Tupac, 1992)

 

Some lyrics come to mind and are very apt in describing certain situations you’re reminiscing on.

We recently received a call from my dear cousin Vivian that her family was in the UK for the holidays and they were thinking of coming to see us. Chioma and I were really pleased as it’s been such a long time we saw her or her husband, Osagie, They have twin children now too and it would be wonderful to see them. We sharply sent our address over and were looking forward to it. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to make it anymore as the logistics of UK life, travelling with Kids in tow and other vagaries of life meant they were not able to make the trip any longer.

Anyway, it just got me wondering how vast the gulf has become between all of us in our generation as an extended family. Albeit through no real fault of ours, we’ve all grown to seek our separate ways and life has made it such that it’s almost an all-man-for-yourself type situation now.

With our generation, as kids and youths, we all grew up pretty close to each other and there are several cherished memories of visiting each other, staying at each other’s houses for holidays, living with one another, and generally taking time to actively be involved in each other’s lives. Our parents really took time out to ensure that we all took regular parts in each other’s lives in a way that nourished the family bonds.

Unfortunately, It’s not the same anymore

Asides generic messages on social media in response to birthday posts and other special occasions, I’m not sure a lot of us cousins have REALLY kept in touch with each other. There’s this situation where everyone seems to have gone their individual way and it’s become more of everyone minding their own business and lives. Understandably enough, japa and adulthood has played a major part in all this.. yet I can't help this wistful feeling when I think about how it used to be back in the day.

The funny part is that.. there is absolutely no rancor, family issues or problems between us AT ALL. (well, maybe apart from one or two weird situations truthfully) and if we happen to find ourselves together at any point in time, we’ll all be happy and GENUINELY glad to see each other.

Shoutout to Aunty Ngo and her family for all they do to bring the family here in the UK together from time to time so that we rekindle the family bond and ensure that there’s still a semblance of unity among us all as an extended family.

It’s just so weird the way life, japa and adulthood has taken away a special part of what we had as a family and left us with this …situation…which we all find ourselves in.

I guess, that’s just the way it is..

The days of Lament

 I read a statement somewhere the other day about how the most painful part of this shit show situation in Naija is how it has turned everyone into constant complainers and lamenters.

See ehn, unfortunately, Nigerians as a people, have become used to “chesting” the most insane things and allowing terrible politicians to get away with so much rubbish that gradually, stupidity becomes the new norm. However, with the way things are going now… it’s really going to take a miracle to steer that country away from the path of being a failed state.

Again, I know I’m always going on about the situation back home but wait first…just think about it…. If I, sitting down on my lounger in my beautiful apartment in Birmingham can be feeling this way about it, how would the folks back home be bearing this??

Honestly, I always come out a little bit more heartbroken when I get off the phone with my people back home. It’s such a horrible situation to acknowledge the fact that we spend roughly 80 percent of the time talking about the problems of the country and all the ways in which the harsh economy is dealing with my folks. I speak to Ugo and it takes a lot to keep up a strong face when you hear of how difficult things are, I speak with Namo and outside the usual small talk, we are now always running through all the ways he’s managing to survive and keep body and soul together with his family, Uche’s case is that I cant even get to speak with him as much as I would like because bros is hustling himself to the bone.. working all hours to try and make all ends meet. (Not as if he was ever the best at keeping in touch but this economy has just made it even worse.)

Lolo is constantly telling about the horrible situation back in the village, mentioning how people are scrounging for the barest things to eat, raiding farms, and begging for money to survive. Its so bad that she’s even seen a situation where a family was offering to sell off their kid!! Omo!.

At times like this, for someone like me, it’s extremely difficult not to feel conflicted about the difference in our quality of life. Trust Chioma and I, we help out in so many ways and as best as we can, and even though I know it makes such a huge difference, I can’t help feeling bad that I can’t do even more to help get everyone out of this dire situation. At times like this, it takes strong mental effort to keep reminding myself that there’s only so much we can do and it’s in no way our fault.

I was speaking with a Thai colleague at the office during break one day and she was talking about the bad situation back home in Thailand but when I mentioned how Nigeria was and the fact that many parts of the country haven’t seen electric power for months now, her jaw dropped in shock. Imagine other countries that are going through it yet, something as basic as electricity is still a fact of life there. SMH

It's so sad, and the thing that constantly gets my goat is how avoidable this whole thing could have been. A little less wickedness and selfishness from the leaders, a whole lot less greed from politicians, a bit more dedication from elected officials and a whole lot less stupidity and docility from us, the citizens….and you could be looking at one of the greatest countries in the world, no cap.

May God help us.

 

 

Theatre of Dreams

 Oh yeah, I forgot to mention

I finally fulfilled a long-held dream some months ago..

Now, as every long-devoted, recently suffering Manchester United fan knows, the holy grail is to see Old Trafford at least once before you die.

Sometime, earlier this year, Chioma and I had some free time off and decided to spend it in Manchester. It was also her sister Ify’s birthday, so that gave us another reason to go over to those parts yonder.

We  booked our default Premier Inn rooms waay ahead of time and travelled to Manchester for the brief 3 day holiday. Of course I had to make the pilgrimage to Old Trafford.

Yaay.

 What can I say folks. I now understand why it’s almost like a religion to some. There’s this aura and feeling of seeing your home ground where you’ve been part of only on TV and seeing iconic monuments, photos and atmosphere. Bruh. Its second to nothing.

Now, I’m not a ‘fanatical’ fan like some people I know (and even though we were unable to get tickets to get into the stadium...terrible I know😖😣😥) but honestly, the whole experience was thrilling. There were fans from all over the world, police everywhere, all the paraphernalia of match day and the incomparable feeling of being at that sacred ground.

 Only of course for my stupid team to lose to Arsenal and rain to make a mockery of the stadium grounds on the day.

Anyway.. I’ve been to the theatre of dreams and nothing ever changes that.