Autumn

 

Hey guys..

The seasons are changing guard once again…. Ladies and gentlemen…say hello to AUTUMN.

It was a good summer, hot, but not as punishing as people predicted it to be..at least here in London.

Elsewhere, it was a different story altogether. We were hearing stories of it being the hottest month on record. WOW. It was so hot that people died from heatwaves, sunstrokes and other heat related ailments… Na wa o.

Here in London, the summer was hot, with temperatures reaching lower 40’s. However, I’ve seen worse and I’m not trying to be insensitive to my lighter skinned brethren, but I would describe my first summer experience as “mildly uncomfortable”.

Anyway, the change of guard has arrived, the leaves have yellowed off and are gradually falling off, duvets have reappeared in homes, wool lined, and heavy-duty jackets have started making appearances on the streets again and that ominous chill in the air is very evident now.

It’s a testament to Nature’s wonder and God’s wonderful design.

You all know I’m not a big fan of the winter season … so preparations have started in earnest, here at the Ibemere household. Chioma has brought out all the jackets and we’ve laundered them, thermal underwear has made a reappearance, the wall heaters in the rooms have been test run for functionality, our boiler is confirmed in good condition, ginger and lemon solutions were recently bought and aboniki will be sourced out very soon. LMAO.

We thank God for everything, for life, for provision and for availability.

 

Bring on the cold weather.

Trick or treat?

 

Of all the holidays being celebrated around the world, I think Halloween amuses me the most.

See ehn, I don’t think the Westerners understand from an African Christian perspective just how much this sort of holiday is considered taboo.

I mean, why on earth would you be celebrating a “haunted” holiday with ghosts, witches, graveyard monsters, and spirits. Accompanied by actively encouraging kids to go about in scary costumes requesting treats from strangers????

Basically, everything our darling African moms warned us about while growing up. lol… You can imagine having a celebration of Ogbanje, Mami water, e.t.c😱😱

I believe it originated from a celebration which was dedicated to remembering the dead. Another origin story was that it was an ancient Celtic festival celebrated at the end of the harvest season. People believed it was a time when spirits could enter our world and damage crops. People all over the old countries would prepare feasts, with places set at the table to make spirits feel welcome, and bonfires lit to keep away unwanted ones.

Africans have been traumatized for generations with our own version of voodoo, juju, babalawos and the like and all these have been ingrained in us from a young age. It’d be a laughable suggestion to dedicate a whole holiday reason for them.  It’s very funny seeing some reactions to the Halloween celebrations from Naija parents over here abroad. i recall the way aunty Ngozi’s face changed when Nadine was talking about celebrating…lmao…biko don’t bring that kind of talk in this house. We are covered by the blood of Jesus!!

Here however, it’s a big deal and a billion-pound industry with every shop cashing out big time from sales of Halloween costumes, sweets, props, toys, and Cinemas raking in cash from Halloween movies and so on. Different strokes I guess.

For me personally, Its actually endearing seeing all the ongoing preparations and decorations. I’ve always been indifferent about stuff like this and I think that, for the most part, my mentality mirrors that of the white people with regards to all things spooky and scary. I don’t understand it but I’ll accept it anyway. I mean what exactly is a hollowed-out pumpkin on your doorstep supposed to mean?

In any case, we’ve stocked up on some sweets in the unlikely event of trick or treaters showing up at our doorstep.

Have a happy Halloween.

Thai.

 Hey guys…nice to be back..

We had our third-year wedding anniversary earlier this month….Yaaayy!!!

Wow.. three years already… Amazing how time has flown by. It still feels all fresh and new still. I guess that’s one of the perks of marrying right.

To celebrate, Chioma and I decided to go somewhere like we always do, so we did some scouting and of course, London, being the never-ending source of eating out places, provided several options. A nice Thai restaurant, “Cooper Thai” caught our browsing eyes, so we decided on it and headed there that evening.

Now, I think we’ve sufficiently established that Chioma is the one in the family with the gourmet, try-anything-once-at-least, international taste buds but once or twice I also like to get out of my gastric comfort zone and try new things as well.

Suffice it to say, it was an inspired choice.

The place was in Harrow and Wealdstone, not too far off from our zanga, so we had just about three stops on our train ride and a little walk in the cool autumn evening.

The exterior of the building wasn’t the best-looking place we’ve ever been to, but on getting inside, there was an abundance of that homey, comfort-filled ambience going on. We were welcomed with some nice Prawn crackers and settled down to enjoy the evening.

Bruh… the food. I think I have become a devotee of Thai Cuisine.

Thankfully, we decided on only one starter platter that turned out to be almost a meal on its own. It came with lots of finger foods, sweet sauces, and tasty veggies

, then moved on to the main courses. I had some Thai fried rice garnished liberally with fried duck meat (Yes…you read right…Duck meat) and other orishirishi. Chioma had some regular rice with a wild seafood sauce platter mixed with decorated veggies, which looked amazing.

Dear Lord..it was heavenly!!

Ticking off our international cuisine bucket list, I think we’ve tried Indian, Chinese, Italian, British (bleh), American, Argentine, and now Thai. Honestly, Thai food wins hands down. It was really good.

We ended off with a crazy, sweet banana split for dessert, containing scoops of ice cream, and drizzled with some delicious frosting.

By this time, we were stuffed to the gills and just managed to make room for it. Of course, we ordered takeaway and rounded up the evening.

Funny enough, the individual food items were very pocket-friendly (which you guys know is an essential criteria for your boy), so even though we did eat quite a lot and spent a bit more than intended, the whole evening was absolutely worth everything.

 

Ahhh…God bless Thailand. You’ve got a convert.

Finishing in style: The Distinction way.

 Hey people

Some piece of news.

*Drumroll*….🥁

After a very very stressful year of school, putting myself back into the academic world of studying, spending hours in Libraries, neglecting personal commitments, attending seminars, writing papers, assignments, and a beautiful dissertation (if I say so myself)…..I am proud to announce that I have officially graduated from the University of East London with a Master’s degree in Human Resource management!!!!!!

To put the icing on top of this, not only have I passed successfully, but I’ve also only gone and graduated with a DISTINCTION!!!!!

Whaaaaaaattt!!! *Trumpet blares!!!*🎆🎆🎉🎉

Sometimes, I amaze myself.

This has been one of the most challenging tasks I set myself and I’m so proud of what I’ve been able to achieve. To be honest, it was no easy feat. There’s so much to be said about studying in the UK, so many things about trying to mix studies with surviving your first year, working menial jobs for only 20 hours per week, getting used to an entirely new system of schooling, adjusting to the weather, new culture and way of life and most importantly, acquiring the right mindset and mental state to get back into the school game after such a long absence. I recall all the rants about it here and here..

Naaah…I try abeg. *Pats my own back and hands myself flowers*🎕

I have so much to be thankful for.

To Chioma….my wife, my babe, my love 💝💝💕…you don’t know how much your love and support has meant during this period. All this would have been impossible without you. (This is a massive understatement btw). Thank you for being there, for the encouragement, for helping to proofread some of the drafts(sometimes…lol), for accepting to be alone all the days I had to spend in the library and times I left to study, for taking the brunt of my bad moods when things were not going too well, for all the financial support which you were (and continue to be) generous with and most importantly, the unwavering belief in my ability to achieve this. You are my world.

To my family…Omo, you guys mean so much to me. I‘m not ashamed to say that a big motivation to get this done was the desire to make you all proud of me and the idea that I would die before letting you all down. I know I’ve made you all proud. (before nko).

Special shout out to my late dad, Nze Cosmas. Like I said in my dissertation dedication, you were the driving force for ensuring that all of us value education. I remember the numerous times you urged us to get more educational achievements and pushed me, especially to achieve potential. I recall once back in secondary school when I came 26^th position in class (the first and only time that ever happened by the way), you traveled all the way to my boarding school in Enugu, sat me down in Mr. Nwanguma’s (my “guardian” back then) house and had one of the most serious talks with me about getting my priorities straight and making sure I live up to my God-given potential.

I have never forgotten all you said dad, Thank you. I’m certain you’ll be up there, bursting with pride and celebrating this achievement with a bottle of Gulder 🍻. Have that drink, pops, this win is dedicated to you.

I’m grateful for some amazing tutors…Prof. Andrew Boocock, Dr. Precious Hepzhibar, and Jude Ritchie…God bless you all for all that you did. You made studying so easy and fun. You’re all great teachers. Andrew, especially…bruh..you be correct guy!

Weirdly, I’m very grateful to the libraries where I spent a lot of time studying. I remember mentioning it here. Stratford Library, Docklands Campus Library, and the fantastic Brent Council Library. These places became like a home away from home and showed me all the values of what a good library can provide. You have all gotten a lifelong patron.

 

Yeah…so it’s all said and done. I look back now and laugh at all the times I felt so stressed while going through school, but like Nze would always say, “Anything worth doing, is worth doing well”.

Congratulations Okey, it was worth it, and you did well.

Msc. Human resources with Distinction!! Cheers!!!.

Middle East peace

 Bruh…when will the Middle East catch a break?

That’s how we were just chilling last week and suddenly the news was flooded with reports about Hamas carrying out a massacre of Israeli civilians in their homes and villages and kidnapping several hostages!!. The bastards actually raided a music festival and gunned down so many people. The pictures, videos and stories are just horrific. Make no mistake about it, an absolutely condemnable, horrible act.

Trust Israel, they did not take this lightly and have launched a full-scale war against the idiots Hamas in the Gaza region, bombing and blitzing the region to pieces for the past week. Unfortunately, there is always a tendency to overdo it and as usual, Palestinian civilians are now caught in the crossfire and facing an extremely serious humanitarian crises of their own. It doesn’t help that Hamas has integrated themselves into the population and seem to be using the Palestinian population as human shields!

To be very fair, there are so many historical perspectives to this feud that it’s very difficult to take a side. HOWEVER, the overwhelming fact is that ordinary, helpless, and most importantly, INNOCENT civilians are being killed, displaced and suffering because of this.

It’s so bad that it has even eclipsed the ongoing Russia-Ukraine war.

I can very clearly remember when I was much younger and monitoring Israel’s war with Hezbollah (in the same region, Lebanon)…this was in about 2006 or so…it was a terrible time as well, and ever since then, this state of constant back and forth has never changed. Always one side lobbing missiles at the other, their Army killing the other civilians, bombs being blown up, suicide bombers, kidnaps and assaults, Hamas dedicating themselves to Jihad and pledging to “Wipe” Israel off the face of the Earth, Israel treating them like the terrorist group that they are, Iran chooking mouth where no concern them, USA supporting Israel with their full chest and it just goes on and on and on…

I’m just here wondering why we can’t all just get along and make this world a better place? Naïve I know but honestly, what good does this even bring about? The hatred is just going to intensify and trickle down to another generation of Israeli-Palestinian kids who will grow up with all the negative things handed down from their parents’ generation.

May God grant much needed peace to that region. Amen

 

 

Warts and all

 Hi guys…

Its serious introspection time over here and honestly, being the continuous work in progress that I am, I’m constantly discovering and trying to correct or come to grips with some icks I’ve uncovered.

So I’ve lately been discovered that I’ve been subconsciously looking down on a lot of the Indian community around the area here in London. Oh God…it sounds even worse writing it down, and it’s so fucking weird because, and I say this with every sense of truth (and irony), This is NOT me. At all. I’m not sure how or why this started but it took Chioma pointing it out and calling me out on it more than once, for me to reflect that I had been doing this by way of making snide remarks and comments, giving pointed looks at some decidedly funny behaviour from some Indians and generally being a bit snooty towards them. I’m not sure why or where this disgraceful behaviour emanated from but I’ve been taking serious steps to course correct. Like I said it’s very weird because most of my classmates in school here are from that lovely country and I have made so many great friends who are genuinely warm folks to be with. Anyway, I’m steady learning and growing so…hopefully this foolishness doesn’t happen again.

This is not a new one, but this procrastination thing is really annoying as fuck. I talked about it here years ago and even though I’ve drastically improved this behaviour, I still find myself wandering back into that crazy procrastination country once or twice when I have tasks to do.. I’m very sure the fuel for this behaviour is the fact that I ALWAYS manage to finish up all tasks before deadlines and not just complete them, but do a kick-ass job of ensuring they are awesomely done. Maybe one day, I’ll miss a deadline and then force myself to kick this habit…sigh.

Finally, what in Gods name is this behavioural tendency to automatically lock up, fall deep in thought and become depressed for days when I get some unfavourable news? I’ve always been able to communicate how I’m feeling at every point, especially to Chioma but this trend has been popping up lately where I’m just not in the mood to talk and it’s been affecting our relationship whenever these bouts come along…. Chioma, being the type who cherishes constant comms (The easiest way to get on her wrong side is to ignore her…lol..) is always at the receiving end of this and honestly, I need to do better.

 

Like I said earlier, it’s all work in progress though and I’m glad I’m able to reflect, identify and take steps to constantly improve. It’s not always easy confronting your demons but so help me God, its what we must all at one point or the other, take time to do.

So there you have it…warts and all…it’ll all get better. I promise.

Milestones Part 3 – “Happy and Thankful”

Hi Love,

So, it’s been 1,095 days of what I can only describe as the best decision I’ve ever made. 1,095 days of getting to know you and love you more. 1,095 days of being your husband and without a shadow of a doubt, 1,095 of the best days of my life.

Ahhhh, what a year we’ve had babe…

I look back at this last year and again, I can only thank God for blessing me with you in my life.

It’s been a crazy year hasn’t it…. lol. New country, new house, new family, new life, new places, new school, new food, and new experiences but through all these up and down changes, one thing that has never wavered has been my love for you. I think I can safely say it increases even more.

It’s not been always rosy my love. We know the toll this past year has taken on us personally, both as individuals and as a couple. However, I can safely say I love how we’ve stuck it out and grown through everything we’ve been through, and I must tell you babe, I’m so very proud of us.

All credit to you babe. You’ve been my rock and a pillar of our family, pushing, supporting, loving, cajoling, and generally being the BESTEST wife any man on earth would be lucky to have by his side. Sometimes, babe, I know that I can be quite the handful…. (Even though we both know I’m quite a catch 😉😉😃) but what your love, presence, patience, and support has done, is to gradually change and make me a much much better version of the man and person I can be. God bless you for me.

I love you so much babe.

I’m so grateful for you and I thank God everyday for the fates that brought you in my life. Like I tell you most times, you are so very easy to love. Infact, as far as I’m concerned, anyone who doesn’t immediately like you is absolute bad vibes and has to be avoided. I also have to say, your personal growth is nothing short of amazing. I have seen you become a much better version of yourself …emotionally, spiritually, workwise and in so many other ways over this past year. My prayer for you is that God keeps blessing, protecting, and uplifting you always.

It can only get better my love. I love how we always talk together about our life plans and as you prayed very recently, this month shall be one that brings favor for both of us.

I will always celebrate us babe. I know that what we have is special and honestly, my love, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Keep being the incredible person you are. You have so much to offer the world and I swear that I will always be right by your side being your biggest cheerleader and supporter through thick and thin.

So, on this special day, Chinky mama, here’s a toast to us: To the life we have, to the love we share, to the future that awaits us and to the very best of growing old together…. May God always envelope us with his love and blessings now and forever!!

Cheers to the next 57 years ahead (or so)!

 

 

  

Analysis Paralysis

 Hey guys …so a recent status check had me reflecting back to a period of our lives when we had so little choice in the forms of entertainment.

I’m talking early years while growing up. It was slim pickings back then. You were either stuck with crappy tv stations, limited choices of books, there was no internet access, mobile phones were unheard of (Goodness, I sound like an ancestor).

Anyway, what brought this on was the situation I found myself in a couple of days ago.

So, I’m seated in front of the TV and absolutely overwhelmed with the amount of options displayed before me. I think I’ve come to understand why it’s difficult for people these days to focus on one thing. It’s a virtual smorgasbord of options.

Normally, our Samsung smart TV came with in-built options of platforms to choose from: Netflix, YouTube, Disney, Amazon, Apple TV, ITv, Rakuten, etc... We then synced Chioma’s Samsung account and got a whole host of new entertainment options added to the mix through Samsung TV platform. Omo, the channel choices choke.

To take it to a further level, I then bought this smart tv box, to get access to live football matches. That was my only innocent intention for the purchase, but I swear, it has taken things to an entirely whole new level. There are options for live tv from more than 9000 stations, Radio stations from more than 100 countries, a VOD (Video on Demand) service storing more than 18000 films, and a Series platform that has roughly 5700 plus different series. Mind you, the VOD and series platforms are always being updated so the choices are always increasing!! WOW.

So, on this fine morning, I wake up early and decide to watch some tv. One hour later, I’m still seated here frozen with indecision about what to watch and trying to narrow down all the temptingly wonderful choices.

Mehn…I miss the simple days of our DSTV compact bouquet.

All this, in addition to the allure of all the social media platforms springing up every day and the numerous novels I have both in physical form and e-copies. Bruh.

It’s not a small something at all.