When Love is not enough

Why is Nigeria like this?'

So i'm in the office having a discussion with a colleague and i'm shocked at what she is saying.

This is a well liked Yoruba lady who happens to be married to an Igbo man. First statement she makes that really got to me was this:  "As for me o,i will never allow my daughter to marry a man from Igbo tribe"

This, coming from a lady who is herself married to an igbo man. Naturally, i jump in and add my two kobo about how that mentality is so 1945ish and that it really shouldn't matter where someone is from and all....Turns out she's been having problems getting his people to like her and accept the fact that their son could get married outside his tribe.

After agreeing that she might be unfairly generalizing, she accepts the fact that i'm right but still maintains that it's a total no-no for her again. I brush it off and assume she's in the minority. Later on, i think about it and realize that it's not just the way she as a Yoruba woman feels, it actually cuts both ways. I'm very certain that i have several Igbo folks that would certainly not want to marry a non -Igbo girl.

Truth is that there is this mostly unspoken generalization by us as a country about how we perceive people from other tribes within the same Nigeria and honestly, it really sucks!.. I can go on and on about it but i won't.

In this day and age, why do we still do this to ourselves??

We need to be more open and focus on the fact that we're in this sinking boat together o. The sooner we realize this, the better for everyone. How unfair is it to wrongly generalize and label people into different boxes based on some stupid sentimental ideas handed down from our misguided elders?

To be fair, inter tribal unions happen fairly regularly,but in the case of about 80% of them, there have always been little issues -wranglings and squabbles or full out war of the tribes based on this archaic notion that "WE" are better than "THEM".

Personally,i have no particular preference about whom i choose to hitch up with. The only thing is she has to be "THE ONE"  and should be worth all the time and effort. Honestly, From all sides, this negative mentality has to stop. You hear issues such as - language barrier, Traditional values, tribal characteristics (real and imagined), inability to cope with Culture bla bla bla....

I really worry for our country o. There is still this undercurrent of hatred and bigotry that simmers just below the average Nigerian psyche.
It shouldn't be so.


Shouldn't love be enough? heeem ya!!

Is this life?

Hello People,

Been a while since i was here.
well, that's because living in this country these days has become like a very terrible reality show which almost every one finds themselves itching to get out of.

You wake up in the morning drenched in sweat from the light-less night, drag yourself out of bed, get ready and head off to work, endure horrible Lagos traffic for hours, get to the office and break your back off working throughout, endure demanding clients, try to keep your boss off your back, fend off complaining co-workers, leave the office late, endure part 2 of the traffic series , get home to darkness and complete the whole cycle by sleeping off without power. Is this life?

You listen to the radio on the way back from work and you hear serially depressing news about how on daily basis, foreign currencies are taking almighty dumps on our Naira, endlessly stretched out queues of cars waiting to buy fuel remind you that Suzie's fuel gauge is hovering just above "E". There are beggars everywhere; on the sidewalks, in traffic, lumbering with their child guides alongside your vehicle. Young boys with plastic bottles containing foamy water rush up unsolicited to your vehicle, squeezing the bottles on your windscreen looking to wash in hopes of you blessing their hustle, young beggar girls running beside your cars peering at you and singing in bad, hausa-tinged pidgin asking for whatever you can give them.

Shit gets real when you sight grown ass women defying all maternal logic and carrying babies,in most cases badly dressed twins, under the blazing sun or in rain to casually stroll beside cars in traffic soliciting, depending on the mercy or kind heartedness of others to give them scraps.

If a single man like me is complaining, imagine what the married folks must be feeling right now. You get home after a long hard day, there's no power, the weather is crazy hot, the kids are crying in discomfort, no fuel to power up the generator, inverter is dead and wife is totally frustrated. Is this life?

 Salary is paid at the end of the month, and instead of elation when you get that alert, you feel a despair at the fact that you're actually already in deficit and the incoming alert will only serve to sort out some of the debts you've already incurred during the course of the past month.

You think of all the things you long to do and get downcast when you realize that, with the current economic reality, you are seriously n a very long thing!!!

Honestly, at this point in time for our country, i really have to ask: what did we ever do to these criminals who have been ruling this country for years and are still in power right now?
Its become a weekly occurrence to hear of one "big man" whom EFCC has arrested for stealing scandalous sums of money in the recent past. Scandalous as in Billions and Billions of Naira!!!!!!

Meanwhile, virtually everyone of us, normal folk are struggling to make ends meet, living from hand to mouth while trying to survive.

It's enough to give you a depression induced headache!. I ask again: Is this life???

Old things out with a leap!!

Its February 29th.

Happy leap year day folks. Next time anything is dated feb 29th will be in four years time!. Amazing isnt it?

What happens to all the kids born today? na wa o.

Anyway, i randomly stumbled on an article about stuff which you need to get rid of if you're a guy in his thirties and going through it, i could identify some stuff which rang true with me.

So in the spirit of new beginnings and renewed aspirations, i decided to take note of them and work assiduously to get rid of them.

1. Procrastination. This is really a big one for me. I've had to forcibly make myself complete certain tasks which i shouldn't even have to. I've even had to snap out of daydreaming once or twice!!
2. Living from Paycheck to Paycheck - Self explanatory. Also have to continue putting stuff away for pension sake!
3. Other People's opinions - Seriously, as they say, i'll start taking your opinion of me and my choices serious once it starts paying my bills.
4. Fear - Of the unknown, of the uncertain, of life in general. Gotta start doing and living my life!. Need to set a goal and strive to achieve it!! Travelling to a new place, learning a new skill, foreign language...anything new!! Just do it!

King of the blues

I love Sade Adu.

Her "best of the best" album collection is one i'll always treasure.
Right now, a particular song of hers perfectly captures the mood i've been in for the past few days.

"King of Sorrows".

Yep, that's how i feel right now. I really can't pinpoint what triggered this off but i've been in this massive funk for close to three days now and i can't seem to shake it off. hmmm...

Nothing really excites me that much anymore. Even writing on here seems like a chore now. Things i used to love doing are now like manual labour.

I've been on a Robert Ludlum novel for close to a month now(unimaginable!!), i've got gigabytes of films on my laptop all unwatched, hanging out on weekends seems like a chore, i've even cut back on visiting family and friends as much. *sigh*

I don't know o!!.

I can't be having a midlife crisis can i?? naahh...too young for that. Lack of finance? maybe, but that has always been there ever since na, Non existent Love life? can't really say.

Still, something has to give and give soon!, i'm feeling a bit dissatisfied with my life right now and i don't now what to do about it. I just feel this restlessness within me that wants, no needs something to happen asap.

What could this be all about??

Dear God, please make something monumentally good happen soon to me.

Hello Princess!!

Hey Folks,

Raise your glasses or whatever you have currently in your hands to help me toast to the arrival of the latest Ibemere Princess to make her way into this wonderful family.

*drumroll*....

Introducing . . .. .Miss Amelia Munachimso Ibemere!!!!!!

My second niece has arrived on the 6th Feb and words cannot express how grateful to God we all are. Congratulations to big bro Nnamdi and his awesome wife Kate.

The family is growing everyday and it's the Lord's doing. She's so beautiful!!!

Our Birthday Boy

And just like that people, One year has raced past.

One year of the delight that is my little Nephew, Master Somto Ejimofor.
On the 30th January, Somto clocked 1 year on earth. He's been such a precious addition to our family and honestly, we thank God everyday for him. More especially as i can arguably claim to be his favorite uncle..lol...

 

Now i see why people find all sorts of joys from their kids. This little man makes me long for kids!! He's really come a long way since his first guest post Here and has become quite the little charmer. Always ready to jump and climb all available surfaces, he's learnt how to walk and people, please say your prayers for his folks, they'll have their hands full in a couple of months more.

Anyway, enough of the gushing. Here's wishing my little "Bombo" the best of years ahead. We all love you to bits and will do anything for you. Grow and shine my boy, your best is yet to come and your star will ever shine bright. cheers!

IB Trips.

People, happy new month o jare, its been a while.

Oh yes, i admit to my ever growing laziness to write anything. Survival is hard enough as it is.

Well sometime last month, the office decides to send me to Ibadan to sort lots of stuff out. Seems like the folks in Ibadan have decided that they want to run a parallel government and have been neck deep in lots of stupid stuff which has really got HQ very annoyed.

Its bound to be a good experience for me, so i prepare for the trip. I'll be heading a team of 4 other guys and according to the brief from HR, we're supposed to be some sort of intervention unit to set things aright within a week.

We sneak into Ibadan on a Sunday afternoon and check into a very nice hotel. Its not my first time in Ibadan but it's my first paid official trip and the hotel room booked for me was great!

Anyhoos, i start work the next day and read the riot act to the regional managers and their crew. It's very effective as they were unaware of our presence in town and i'm chuckling inside at how cowed everyone looks. The team go out on their fact finding/mystery shopping trips and i'm based in the Ibadan Headquarters with everyone bending over backwards to try and impress..lol.

To cut a long story short, it's a fruitful trip. I find time to hook up with Mike and a few other old friends as well as explore the ancient city. The place is awesome! Food is cheap, beer might as well be free with the price it goes for over here and there's this feeling of old world charm that is everywhere...

The trip goes very well and ends with a reality check trip back to Lagos on Saturday.