Changes...that's just the way it is

 That’s just the way it is…. things will never be the same…

That’s just the way it is…. Oh yeah…

Changes (Tupac, 1992)

 

Some lyrics come to mind and are very apt in describing certain situations you’re reminiscing on.

We recently received a call from my dear cousin Vivian that her family was in the UK for the holidays and they were thinking of coming to see us. Chioma and I were really pleased as it’s been such a long time we saw her or her husband, Osagie, They have twin children now too and it would be wonderful to see them. We sharply sent our address over and were looking forward to it. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to make it anymore as the logistics of UK life, travelling with Kids in tow and other vagaries of life meant they were not able to make the trip any longer.

Anyway, it just got me wondering how vast the gulf has become between all of us in our generation as an extended family. Albeit through no real fault of ours, we’ve all grown to seek our separate ways and life has made it such that it’s almost an all-man-for-yourself type situation now.

With our generation, as kids and youths, we all grew up pretty close to each other and there are several cherished memories of visiting each other, staying at each other’s houses for holidays, living with one another, and generally taking time to actively be involved in each other’s lives. Our parents really took time out to ensure that we all took regular parts in each other’s lives in a way that nourished the family bonds.

Unfortunately, It’s not the same anymore

Asides generic messages on social media in response to birthday posts and other special occasions, I’m not sure a lot of us cousins have REALLY kept in touch with each other. There’s this situation where everyone seems to have gone their individual way and it’s become more of everyone minding their own business and lives. Understandably enough, japa and adulthood has played a major part in all this.. yet I can't help this wistful feeling when I think about how it used to be back in the day.

The funny part is that.. there is absolutely no rancor, family issues or problems between us AT ALL. (well, maybe apart from one or two weird situations truthfully) and if we happen to find ourselves together at any point in time, we’ll all be happy and GENUINELY glad to see each other.

Shoutout to Aunty Ngo and her family for all they do to bring the family here in the UK together from time to time so that we rekindle the family bond and ensure that there’s still a semblance of unity among us all as an extended family.

It’s just so weird the way life, japa and adulthood has taken away a special part of what we had as a family and left us with this …situation…which we all find ourselves in.

I guess, that’s just the way it is..

The days of Lament

 I read a statement somewhere the other day about how the most painful part of this shit show situation in Naija is how it has turned everyone into constant complainers and lamenters.

See ehn, unfortunately, Nigerians as a people, have become used to “chesting” the most insane things and allowing terrible politicians to get away with so much rubbish that gradually, stupidity becomes the new norm. However, with the way things are going now… it’s really going to take a miracle to steer that country away from the path of being a failed state.

Again, I know I’m always going on about the situation back home but wait first…just think about it…. If I, sitting down on my lounger in my beautiful apartment in Birmingham can be feeling this way about it, how would the folks back home be bearing this??

Honestly, I always come out a little bit more heartbroken when I get off the phone with my people back home. It’s such a horrible situation to acknowledge the fact that we spend roughly 80 percent of the time talking about the problems of the country and all the ways in which the harsh economy is dealing with my folks. I speak to Ugo and it takes a lot to keep up a strong face when you hear of how difficult things are, I speak with Namo and outside the usual small talk, we are now always running through all the ways he’s managing to survive and keep body and soul together with his family, Uche’s case is that I cant even get to speak with him as much as I would like because bros is hustling himself to the bone.. working all hours to try and make all ends meet. (Not as if he was ever the best at keeping in touch but this economy has just made it even worse.)

Lolo is constantly telling about the horrible situation back in the village, mentioning how people are scrounging for the barest things to eat, raiding farms, and begging for money to survive. Its so bad that she’s even seen a situation where a family was offering to sell off their kid!! Omo!.

At times like this, for someone like me, it’s extremely difficult not to feel conflicted about the difference in our quality of life. Trust Chioma and I, we help out in so many ways and as best as we can, and even though I know it makes such a huge difference, I can’t help feeling bad that I can’t do even more to help get everyone out of this dire situation. At times like this, it takes strong mental effort to keep reminding myself that there’s only so much we can do and it’s in no way our fault.

I was speaking with a Thai colleague at the office during break one day and she was talking about the bad situation back home in Thailand but when I mentioned how Nigeria was and the fact that many parts of the country haven’t seen electric power for months now, her jaw dropped in shock. Imagine other countries that are going through it yet, something as basic as electricity is still a fact of life there. SMH

It's so sad, and the thing that constantly gets my goat is how avoidable this whole thing could have been. A little less wickedness and selfishness from the leaders, a whole lot less greed from politicians, a bit more dedication from elected officials and a whole lot less stupidity and docility from us, the citizens….and you could be looking at one of the greatest countries in the world, no cap.

May God help us.

 

 

Theatre of Dreams

 Oh yeah, I forgot to mention

I finally fulfilled a long-held dream some months ago..

Now, as every long-devoted, recently suffering Manchester United fan knows, the holy grail is to see Old Trafford at least once before you die.

Sometime, earlier this year, Chioma and I had some free time off and decided to spend it in Manchester. It was also her sister Ify’s birthday, so that gave us another reason to go over to those parts yonder.

We  booked our default Premier Inn rooms waay ahead of time and travelled to Manchester for the brief 3 day holiday. Of course I had to make the pilgrimage to Old Trafford.

Yaay.

 What can I say folks. I now understand why it’s almost like a religion to some. There’s this aura and feeling of seeing your home ground where you’ve been part of only on TV and seeing iconic monuments, photos and atmosphere. Bruh. Its second to nothing.

Now, I’m not a ‘fanatical’ fan like some people I know (and even though we were unable to get tickets to get into the stadium...terrible I know😖😣😥) but honestly, the whole experience was thrilling. There were fans from all over the world, police everywhere, all the paraphernalia of match day and the incomparable feeling of being at that sacred ground.

 Only of course for my stupid team to lose to Arsenal and rain to make a mockery of the stadium grounds on the day.

Anyway.. I’ve been to the theatre of dreams and nothing ever changes that.

Sweet dreams and Tech things

 Hi folks

Yaay, the posts have become more regular ba?...Not even sure how this happens. There’ll be a block for months where I forget I even have a blog and then other months where I’m putting posts up like water…anyway…

You know something? I’m constantly marveled at the improvements that science and technology have brought upon us as humans. It might look like little things, but the proportional improvement to the quality of life is astronomical.

Some weeks ago, while setting up house, Chioma and I went to a huge shopping complex to buy some things for the house, and in the middle of wandering around the huge mall, we kinda stumbled into a huge store named ‘dreams’ where they were selling mattresses, beds and everything sleep related. Bear in mind that even though we weren’t looking to buy anything there yet, we both knew that we needed to get a new bed for our extra bedroom.

Bruh, it was an eye opener.

The extraordinary difference in sheer quality of mattresses they had there was amazing. We were attended to by one very savvy sales guy who took time to really show us around and get us to test the products.

Omo, It’s like we’ve been sleeping wrong our whole lives.

First, they made us lie down on this big bed/sleep machine thingy (almost like an CT scan or ultra sound) that scanned our body types, weight, sleep positions and contours in order to recommend the type of mattress that would be best suited for us. Then we were (for lack of a better word) introduced to the mattresses.

My God! I fell instantly in love with one called the Tempur pedic. God punish poverty and all the years of sleeping on useless mattresses. The obvious difference was mind boggling. Not to exaggerate or anything but that was the best mattress I had ever lay on (and I’ve slept on some quality hotel beds too), however, the cost of this one was equally mind boggling, so we had to go the next best thing and get something similar but less expensive. We paired it with some orthopedic pillows, a new bed frame and some other stuff. Fortunately, they had installment payment options which made everything much easier (and helped to calm my Igbo minion who had been wringing his hands in despair and exclaiming ewooo!! at the total cost).

Weeks later, I’m coming here to testify that my sleep has drastically improved, there’s no more waking up with pain, I feel refreshed waking up and I believe it has even helped minimize snoring and other breathing issues. Wow.

It’s the little things ba?

Again, (and I don’t care how simple this comes across as), what in the sorcery is this Air fryer of a thing? If you really deep it, the tech is absolutely amazing. Imagine growing up all your life using oil to get your foods fried and now, you’re introduced to this machine which apparently heats air around your food and uses (or ‘conjures’ to me) oil from somewhere within the foods to perfectly fry them and have them coming out delicious. Brethren, shout halleluya!!

Chioma got this lovely double door air fryer and it’s been such a revelation. To be honest though, we haven’t ditched using oil entirely, however what wouldn’t I give to see the look on Lolo’s face when she uses this for the first time!!

It’s the little things ba?

Home and Dry.

Hi people, so it’s very early on a chill holiday and I’m just taking time off to rest and recoup my energy in preparation for the work week ahead. As usual, the minions are doing overtime in my head and I’m here with tons of thoughts running helter-skelter and cartwheeling through my mind.

However, one very clear overpowering theme that threads through is being grateful for my wife Chioma.

See, ehn. There are good women, good people, some great women who are also good people, and then there is my wife, who naturally combines all three.

I’ve been an unfortunate witness to some really unhappy marriages where the trend is to just try and stick it out with your partner for however long it can go on. Things change and you don’t even recognize the person you married anymore. Other factors come into play and you have two individuals who are just cohabiting for the sake of it. Very sad.

My case is different though. I say it again and again that when I count my blessings, my wife is counted thrice. Chioma is such a good person that makes it really easy to be with. I was just thinking about it and I’m like, na wa o, is this the same married life that people complain all the time about?

I’m looking at our nice apartment and her touch is everywhere. She’s successfully turned this place into a home and wallahi, it’s something I’m very grateful for.

The way she combines and coordinates most aspects of our life together leaves me in awe. She’s very good at her job, takes time to make sure our house matters are coordinated, is the default recipient of all her family calls and issues, still goes out of her way to include my side of the family in plans, has been a steady contributing partner to our financial plans and still loves my big head despite my own weyrey.

Even as I have to give myself props too for contributing my bit to making this a happy marriage, (as a spec that I am nah) God was really in his bag that day when Chioma was made and I’m so happy and proud to be with her in this life.

Of course, it hasn’t been all roses and sunshine. Madam has her own skoi skoi too and there are things we’re still struggling with, and still learning about each other all the time, however they’re very minor and it’s just one more piece to the whole picture of what makes her an amazing woman. Make no mistake about it, there are lots of things we still hope to achieve as a family and regular prayer points but with her by my side and God with us, I’m very hopeful and confident for our future.

Guys, forget everything out there, your life can change with the right person in it. I’m living proof of it. My Chinky Chinks is that special kind of woman and I’m absolutely crazy in love with her.

Be safe out in those wild streets, folks.. Me? I’m home and dry!

 

 

 

Pounding the Naira..Part 2

 Omo!!...

Hey guys, I just checked this morning and noticed that one pound is exchanging for 2100 NGN!!

Do you even have any idea how insane this is?

Minimum wage (absolute minimum wage) here in the UK is roughly 11 pounds per hour. , according to this very recent Forbes article, I get paid more for working a ten hour shift  than more than 90% of people earn monthly back home in Lagos state.

To put it in context, sometime last year, in this post, I surmised that my weekly wages were equivalent to the monthly take home for folks back home. Now, it's a daily comparison. And it's not as if I'm earning so much more than before

It’s mind-boggling!.

Of course, I’m aware of all the related issues with this sort of currency comparison, the bills, earning power and other associated costs with living and working abroad, yet this is absolutely ridiculous.

The report states that only about 7% of Lagos workers earn 200,000 and above every month!

Bruh, its bad o.

Anyway, even as I’m lamenting this terrible situation, let me kukuma log into Lemfi and convert ..before the thing changes…lol.

New phone, who dis??

 Ahh it’s finally happened.

No, stop fretting, it’s not anything bad bad…. (Depends on which angle you look at it though) but my beloved Samsung Note 9 phone is starting to give up on me 💔.

You know something, but this phone has tried for me. Four years and counting is definitely not beans! And I’ve come to love the quiet steady functionality of the Note 9.

Nobody will accuse me of ever being a gadget freak, (unlike one of my older brothers who I will not mention 😏) but when it comes to mobile phones, once it functions well and can perform all it’s supposed to do, while still wowing me with some new features I didn’t even know about, then, I’m happy and satisfied with it.

A couple of weeks ago, my beautiful phone started showing end-of-life signals by having this weird screen flickering and multi-colour display. Now, even though I know it might not be the end of the road, however, once your phone screen starts acting up and behaving funny like this, it’s time to change it. (Okey, please rebuke these thoughts of Computer Village from your head biko!!)

Chioma has been very indifferent to my pain as she’s been urging me to get a new one for a while now..😁.. Also seeing as this Note 9 was a very benevolent gift from my awesome cousin Emeka many years ago, I have sadly come to the conclusion that it may be time to get a new one. I'm just dreading the stress that'll come with all the app migrations and backup restorations. I'm also sure there'll be some form of data loss somewhere seeing as this phone has tons of stored stuff everywhere.

Google Pixel phone? Another Samsung step up? Do I switch lanes entirely and go the iPhone route? Would another Android brand work better? Which is the most cost-efficient, yet functional and sleekly styled phone around sef?

Decisions decisions..