You know something?
Sometimes, its always good to take time out and see life through other people's eyes.
Part of my job entails disciplining staff who run foul of company policies, so at different times this month,i had summoned two ladies who work as cashiers in our shops to see me. Prior to them coming to my office, i'd never met either of them before.
The first one, Bolu*, had been popping up late to work for sometime, and i was really pissed off. Getting to the office on the appointed day, i was informed that she was waiting to see me. It was bound to be a busy day for me, so i let her stew outside for a bit while i caught up on some other stuff.
I get them to send her in later and she comes in looking scared. My first thought was "How old is this one sef?"She looks very young and vulnerable and nothing at all like the defiant rebel i had pictured in my mind.
I sit her down and give her the third degree. I finally relent and in my usual fashion, start counseling her on how to ensure she gets it all together. When i'm through, i see her head bowed ask her if she understands what i've told her about coming to work late.
She nods and raises her head. i can see tears pooling in her eyes and i ask her what's wrong. She then proceeds to tell me all she's been going through and why she's been coming late. Turns out her dad is late, her mom doesn't have a job, she is the first of six children, her younger siblings are out of school, they are currently squatting with a family friend somewhere on the mainland, she is squatting with a friend of hers on the island here in order to get to her office on time and in addition to the job with us, she's doubling as an usher at events to make ends meet because she's the breadwinner for the entire family.
This girl in front of me cannot be more than seventeen years old.
The second one, Kafayat* was brought to my office one evening with her offence listed as being insubordinate to her region manager. After chastising her and making sure she understands the consequences of her actions, i switch to good cop and counsel her a bit. To my surprise, tears start streaming down her face when i start asking her of her future plans. She informs me that she just came back from taking the post UTME exam into University of Ilorin and she's just been accepted into the school to study mass communication.
It's obvious she's crying because she thought nobody cares enough to ask about her future plans.
Hmmmm.....Sometimes, it's actually worth it to take time out and make other people realize that they matter and that what happens to them is of concern to others.
As Ellen always ends, please be kind to each other.
* Not real names.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Luck and Life
Hi guys
Ok. So today, on getting to the office, there's this buzz all around and staff are clustered together discussing and talking animatedly.
Didn't want to start mingling with them and loafing around so i go up to my office and settle in. i could still hear all the excitement so i call the receptionist on the intercom and ask what all the fuss is about.
She tells me that a young lad who won big on one of our games had come to the office to claim his big prize. For those who don't know, i currently do Quality assurance for NairaBET .com, Nigeria's foremost sports bookies.
i make some calls and it turns out that this young man staked 100 naira on a list of accumulated fixtures, random games and crazy permutations with the funniest odds that you can imagine and believe it or not, they all panned out.
Total figure of his winnings, ladies and gentlemen, is roughly about 5.7 million naira.
When the shock clears, i have to go downstairs myself and look this nigger in the eye. I find him sitting in our conference room, looking scared and unsure if he's awake or still in dreamland. He has a couple of guys with him who are trying to look worldly wise and putting up some very fake swagger.
I go up to them, introduce myself in the most authoritative tone i can muster and they all stand up hesitantly. i ask for his identification and the poor lad is almost falling over himself to get his wallet out.
The wicked minions in my head begin urging me to have some fun with them so i take his ID card, look very critically at it, stare back at him, pan round to look at his companions and ask them who they are.
They start getting defensive and tell me they are his family members and he's their younger brother. One even looks like he wants to swear on a stack of bibles. lol.
Its so true when they say "Success has plenty relatives"
I want to leave it at this point but meeen, we're talking about 6 million naira here!!!..make dem sweat small na....(Not as if i'm the one to even give him the cheque sef)
I start asking them questions and grill them a bit about themselves. When it's clear that its not a hoax and this guy is the real deal, i smile at him and shake his hand.
You can see the instant relief on his face. Turns out the management had asked him to come for some photo ops and publicity. i leave them and walk back to my office amazed.
One of the minions is playing Gabrielle's song "life" on replay in my head.
This poor unemployed lad is about to become a millionaire through what some people term a bad habit while most of us, working our asses off can't lay claim to a fraction of that amount.
It is well!
Ok. So today, on getting to the office, there's this buzz all around and staff are clustered together discussing and talking animatedly.
Didn't want to start mingling with them and loafing around so i go up to my office and settle in. i could still hear all the excitement so i call the receptionist on the intercom and ask what all the fuss is about.
She tells me that a young lad who won big on one of our games had come to the office to claim his big prize. For those who don't know, i currently do Quality assurance for NairaBET .com, Nigeria's foremost sports bookies.
i make some calls and it turns out that this young man staked 100 naira on a list of accumulated fixtures, random games and crazy permutations with the funniest odds that you can imagine and believe it or not, they all panned out.
Total figure of his winnings, ladies and gentlemen, is roughly about 5.7 million naira.
When the shock clears, i have to go downstairs myself and look this nigger in the eye. I find him sitting in our conference room, looking scared and unsure if he's awake or still in dreamland. He has a couple of guys with him who are trying to look worldly wise and putting up some very fake swagger.
I go up to them, introduce myself in the most authoritative tone i can muster and they all stand up hesitantly. i ask for his identification and the poor lad is almost falling over himself to get his wallet out.
The wicked minions in my head begin urging me to have some fun with them so i take his ID card, look very critically at it, stare back at him, pan round to look at his companions and ask them who they are.
They start getting defensive and tell me they are his family members and he's their younger brother. One even looks like he wants to swear on a stack of bibles. lol.
Its so true when they say "Success has plenty relatives"
I want to leave it at this point but meeen, we're talking about 6 million naira here!!!..make dem sweat small na....(Not as if i'm the one to even give him the cheque sef)
I start asking them questions and grill them a bit about themselves. When it's clear that its not a hoax and this guy is the real deal, i smile at him and shake his hand.
You can see the instant relief on his face. Turns out the management had asked him to come for some photo ops and publicity. i leave them and walk back to my office amazed.
One of the minions is playing Gabrielle's song "life" on replay in my head.
This poor unemployed lad is about to become a millionaire through what some people term a bad habit while most of us, working our asses off can't lay claim to a fraction of that amount.
It is well!
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Morning satire fix...
Morning people..
Couldn't help but share this article from my all time favourite Nigerian blogger and writer(after Chimamanda). Couldn't get permission but FULL credit for this article goes to the fantastic El Nathan John.
Even though this is a topic i feel strongly about, his satire angle to the whole issue is killing. Enjoy.
You can find his wonderful articles on http://elnathanjohn.blogspot.com/
I am not so devastated after reading those words. It is helpful that Cecil spoke clear articulate English to Karen Anderson. Think if he had spoken in one of the Zimbabwean languages, or even in an accent so strong she couldn’t understand. Then Karen would have thought her skills had failed her and we would all have gone through life depressed about the fate of Cecil. God bless Karen Anderson. God bless Cecil. God bless everyone who has been outraged about this horrific killing.
Couldn't help but share this article from my all time favourite Nigerian blogger and writer(after Chimamanda). Couldn't get permission but FULL credit for this article goes to the fantastic El Nathan John.
Even though this is a topic i feel strongly about, his satire angle to the whole issue is killing. Enjoy.
You can find his wonderful articles on http://elnathanjohn.blogspot.com/
Life is hard for humans. But even tougher for animals. I was filled with outrage recently when I read of this American dentist who paid 55,000 dollars to shoot a lion in Zimbabwe. Not just any lion. A lion with a name. Cecil.
Let us pause for a moment to talk about Cecil. Writing about this is very emotional for me, but I will try.
Cecil must have grown up in a pride of lions not knowing if he was going to survive. Only one in eight male lions ever make it into adulthood. If they are not killed by adult lions, they die of hunger, injuries or illnesses. Then by the time Cecil would have reached the age of sexual maturity for lions, the other members of the pride would have done the ritual of kicking him out to fend for himself, alone, in the wild. Because that is what lions do to males that reach maturity. It’s a bit like how white people make their kids leave home and get jobs after they are 18. Lions are not like black people who live with their parents until they get married.
To survive, Cecil would have had to find his own home and this might have involved taking over new territory and possible face aggression from the new pride they will be entering. Cecil did all this and became that one-in-eight male lions that make it to adulthood. Cecil lived until the ripe lion age of 13 and fathered many cubs.
While Cecil was going about the business of catering for his pride, a white American dentist was preparing his bow and arrow with which he would kill the lion. Cecil would eventually get shot, wander around in pain for 40 hours, be tracked down by the dentist and beheaded. Let me get some tissue.
It cost 55,000 dollars to kill Cecil. I know 72% of Zimbabweans live on less than 1.25 dollars a day but I do not know their names. I know Cecil’s name. And today we are talking about Cecil.
I am angry about a few things. First, I am thinking of what 55,000 dollars can do for me. I would easily have let that man shoot me in the thigh or something for half that amount. Cecil would have been alive today. I don’t mind dressing up like an animal since what really gives him the thrill is shooting animals. I would grow a mane if I had to. And I am not even saying the whole amount. Just half.
I know that in the US there have been at least two black people lost to police-related deaths in the media recently. There was of course global outrage but nothing close to what Cecil got. And that is how it should be. After all Cecil was said to be the most popular lion in Zimbabwe. The poor black people in Zimbabwe and those black Americans who died at the hands of white police officers are all regular people. It would be unfair to try to compare Cecil, with a regular, unknown black person – Cecil who by sheer dint of hard work, determination and good fortune rose through the ranks and beat the odds to live for 13 years. No.
One thing we know about male lions is that if the head of a pride dies (or say leaves his family to go start a new one elsewhere like some Nigerian men), the male that takes over the pride will kill the cubs of the previous head. Simple self-preservation. Every male lion wants his own children to inherit him, not the children of some other male.
What this means is that not only Cecil, but his entire lineage is now probably wiped out. Think of that. No Cecil junior. Ever. Hold on. I need some tissue.
My only consolation is in the assurance that Cecil is in the hereafter and doing great. Yes. I read this assurance from American Animal Communicator Karen Andersonwho claims to have spoken to Cecil from the afterlife. On her Facebook page, she posted that she was moved to tears when she heard Cecil’s words to her. According to her, and I trust her because she is a professional with her own YouTube videos, website and all, Cecil said the following:
"Let not the actions of these few men defeat us or allow darkness to enter our hearts. If we do then we become one of them. Raise your vibration and allow this energy to move us forward. What happened does not need to be discussed as it is what it is. Take heart my child, I am finer than ever, grander than before as no one can take our purity, our truth or our soul. Ever. I am here. Be strong and speak for all the others who suffer needlessly to satisfy human greed. Bring Light and Love and we will rise above this."
I am not so devastated after reading those words. It is helpful that Cecil spoke clear articulate English to Karen Anderson. Think if he had spoken in one of the Zimbabwean languages, or even in an accent so strong she couldn’t understand. Then Karen would have thought her skills had failed her and we would all have gone through life depressed about the fate of Cecil. God bless Karen Anderson. God bless Cecil. God bless everyone who has been outraged about this horrific killing.
They say a living dog is better than a dead lion. But not a dead lion with a name. Not Cecil.
Show Cecil you care. Look for an online petition relating to this killing and sign it. Cecil will know. And Cecil will appreciate it.
Show Cecil you care. Look for an online petition relating to this killing and sign it. Cecil will know. And Cecil will appreciate it.
Ps. A US petition to extradite the lion-killer dentist has surpassed 100,000 signatures. I love it that Americans can rally together when it really matters.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Billionaire dreams...
Hey hey...
Friday morning. I'm sitting in the office fleshing out some data in a spreadsheet. My office colleague's laptop is softly playing a Bruno Mars playlist.
Bruno is a fantastic musician and i'm really enjoying the songs. When he starts crooning the chorus to Travie McCoy's hit, "i wanna be a billionaire, so freaking bad"... i pause what i'm doing and start to think seriously.
I fucking do WANT TO BE A BILLIONAIRE!!!. Literally speaking.
It's crazy. I don't really see myself as a materialistic person but dear Lord, please make me very rich. There's so much i want to do, so much i want to see, places i want to go, things i would love to have, tons and tons of people to help, causes to join, plans to make...
Even if i don't get to do it all, being a billionaire would seriously help close several of these out.
All the self help and motivational books will tell you to set your goals, draw up a plan:short term,long term plans, start working towards them, celebrate milestones, bla bla bla....
Fuck short term,long term plans. Me, i really wouldn't mind being an instant billionaire o!!!
Is this selfish or lazy? Maybe, but who cares!
Let's be very honest, if any of us had the option, who wants to work??? abeg, leave matter, i'd much rather be rich. I have this propensity to daydream and one of my favorite ones is to just have a big suitcase fall from an overhead plane into my compound (when i'm the only one around o) which contains thousands and thousands of dollars/pounds!!!!.....chai!!...lol.
I went to Parkview Estate a couple of weeks ago and honestly, who in his /her right mind can seriously claim that money is the root of all evil? abeg park well.
Deep down, i know being a billionaire may never happen but i hope to be really wealthy enough to enjoy my life and help others. Oh well, a man is still allowed to dream abi?
"I wanna be a billionaire....sooo...freaking bad...."...The song ends and Bruno starts wailing about how he wants to catch a grenade for some scheming, two faced bitch who wouldn't do the same.
Wake up and GET BACK TO WORK boy!!!
Friday morning. I'm sitting in the office fleshing out some data in a spreadsheet. My office colleague's laptop is softly playing a Bruno Mars playlist.
Bruno is a fantastic musician and i'm really enjoying the songs. When he starts crooning the chorus to Travie McCoy's hit, "i wanna be a billionaire, so freaking bad"... i pause what i'm doing and start to think seriously.
I fucking do WANT TO BE A BILLIONAIRE!!!. Literally speaking.
It's crazy. I don't really see myself as a materialistic person but dear Lord, please make me very rich. There's so much i want to do, so much i want to see, places i want to go, things i would love to have, tons and tons of people to help, causes to join, plans to make...
Even if i don't get to do it all, being a billionaire would seriously help close several of these out.
All the self help and motivational books will tell you to set your goals, draw up a plan:short term,long term plans, start working towards them, celebrate milestones, bla bla bla....
Fuck short term,long term plans. Me, i really wouldn't mind being an instant billionaire o!!!
Is this selfish or lazy? Maybe, but who cares!
Let's be very honest, if any of us had the option, who wants to work??? abeg, leave matter, i'd much rather be rich. I have this propensity to daydream and one of my favorite ones is to just have a big suitcase fall from an overhead plane into my compound (when i'm the only one around o) which contains thousands and thousands of dollars/pounds!!!!.....chai!!...lol.
I went to Parkview Estate a couple of weeks ago and honestly, who in his /her right mind can seriously claim that money is the root of all evil? abeg park well.
Deep down, i know being a billionaire may never happen but i hope to be really wealthy enough to enjoy my life and help others. Oh well, a man is still allowed to dream abi?
"I wanna be a billionaire....sooo...freaking bad...."...The song ends and Bruno starts wailing about how he wants to catch a grenade for some scheming, two faced bitch who wouldn't do the same.
Wake up and GET BACK TO WORK boy!!!
Fear not!
Whaddup peeps..
Ok, so this morning, i leave Susie at home and decide to use public transport to work.
I'm fortunate to get one on time and we head off to work via third mainland bridge. Now, no one told us our driver was one of those insane, daredevil danfo drivers and honestly, the ride to work was not a fun trip.
Female passengers were yelling at the guy and the men were all trying to put up unconcerned faces and through it all, i think the silly driver was actually enjoying it.
Me? i was very concerned but tried not to let it show. My usual policy in situations like this is to sit tight and try not to distract whichever idiot's hands i've put my life into by joining the shouting.
The scared faces around me got me thinking about things in life which i'm scared of /worried about but try not to bother too much about. So i decided to just list them out and from time to time, read this post, update it as i remember and try to come to terms with them all. In no particular order, here goes.
Ok, so this morning, i leave Susie at home and decide to use public transport to work.
I'm fortunate to get one on time and we head off to work via third mainland bridge. Now, no one told us our driver was one of those insane, daredevil danfo drivers and honestly, the ride to work was not a fun trip.
Female passengers were yelling at the guy and the men were all trying to put up unconcerned faces and through it all, i think the silly driver was actually enjoying it.
Me? i was very concerned but tried not to let it show. My usual policy in situations like this is to sit tight and try not to distract whichever idiot's hands i've put my life into by joining the shouting.
The scared faces around me got me thinking about things in life which i'm scared of /worried about but try not to bother too much about. So i decided to just list them out and from time to time, read this post, update it as i remember and try to come to terms with them all. In no particular order, here goes.
- I'm scared of my parents dying. I know this will eventually happen but its still something which literally has me paralyzed in fear.
- I'm very worried that i'm never going to be financially stable enough to raise and support a family.
- I'm scared of going for a HIV test, knowing that i've had unprotected sex before!. (i'd rather leave my status to God's hands and hope for the best). Silly, i know but who cares!.
- Speaking of God, i'm worried that i'm gradually losing my inclination to go to church. Not as if i don't believe in God, i do, but this my lethargy towards church is crazy.
- I'm scared shitless of anything bad happening to my family members.
- Not to put too much in it, but it sometimes bothers me that i may not be able to truly love only one woman
- I am totally freaked out when i have nightmares. Yes, freaked out as in shivering, sweating, in pain freaked out!
- I'm worried that i always give benefit of doubt.
- I'm scared of drowning.
That does it so far...
We got to our destination safely and the look i gave the driver could have shrunk his manhood. i just shook my head and got on with my life. No time.
Friday, August 7, 2015
Sugar things....
Hi People,
Happy new month to you all.
Life is going on and well, its not exactly what i want for myself at this stage, but i really can't complain.
So, in the spirit of openness and candor on this blog, i'll relate a crazy experience which happened to me some time ago.
Now, being a guy roaming the single wilderness looking for whom to devour..lol...one fine day after work in the office, i happened across a very intriguing dating site and though i'm not usually one to join up to such sites, given some crazy past experiences, something that day,( boredom? impulsiveness? agro? mischievous minions?) made me say..screw it all and click on the "sign up" tag on the screen.
So i get introduced into another world of online dating. This site (not going to promote them on this blog) is very different and shows all the sides of human nature you can think of.
Here i get a crash course into the world of quick meets, sex contacts, kinks, crazy fetishes, swingers, swinger parties, blogs, acronyms i've never heard of: CD, TV, TS, and the like.
The thing is, its not a local site but also caters for a worldwide audience.
I'm like a Unical babe at a sharwarma joint!
Now, i usually don't need help to get crazy and wild but there are so many things to explore. I take a simple solution of narrowing down all searches for potential matches to Nigeria and soon get a potential number of hits.
At this point, i have to confess that it's really just curiosity driving me to explore, so i take a chance, create a well crafted profile bio and send requests out to a few potential matches just for the fun of it.
An interesting profile of a middle aged woman who claims to be fifty one years old catches my eye and i also send a friend invite to her.
After a while of browsing on the site,my initial enthusiasm wears off. I log out and get back to preparing to leave for the day..
Now, fast forward about a week later, i get two emails signalling that i have unread stuff in my inbox from the site. I eagerly open it and guess what? it's from the middle aged lady.
I'm intrigued. I open it up and read a very well articulated and great email from her. Jumoke(Not real name) gives me a lot of details about herself, and tells me she loved the bio and would like for us to be friends. It's short and to the point.
Hmmm.....I like!!!
So i mail her back and that, ladies and gents, is how i get my first real life online...err...whatever..
We'd been chatting via mails for a while and seeing as this was getting kind of childish, one day i ask for her number so i can call. She laughs and tells me that as a matter of fact, i should send her my number. She informs me that seeing as she is much older and richer, she wants to be the one doing the calling (with her caller ID hidden). WOW!!!.
I don't know what to say so i put up the customary protest of course, but she is insistent. She seals the deal by telling me of a very nasty experience she had with another younger guy who turned out to be a gold digger and was always bothering her on the phone.
People, that's how the phone talks started o. Turns out she's very fun and whenever she calls, we actually have great laughs. Her number was always hidden so i really never had any chance to call her back. She's raunchy too (which i like) and sometimes i have to make sure i'm alone while taking her calls so i can respond..lol.
This goes on for weeks and i decide to take the bull by the horns and ask for us to meet. Her reaction is like....NO.
I'm a bit baffled, seeing as everything is going on well and even though this is not relationship territory, it's most certainly hookup land. I start to wonder and ask her point blank if there's any challenge to us meeting or she's not interested that way. She tells me there isn't but that she's just comfortable the way we are right now. (Hmmm indeed!!)
I decide not to push it and we go on like this for a couple of months. She even gives me her number and when i feel like it, i call her as well. This is new for me and its fun.
After all the initial gra gra, this weird online/phone relationship starts to fizzle out on both our parts. Even though i cant say why, it's not really as hot as it was initially.
Then one fateful evening, she calls me, sounding very hesitant and shy and tells me she's going to send me a few of her pictures and i can decide what i want after that.
hmmm...interesting.
She gives me another number of hers and i add her up on Whatsapp. Soon after,i get a series of pictures and a very long message.
Screeeeeeechhh. HOLD UP!
Now i can see why she's never wanted us to meet physically.
Jumoke is HUGE!! as in really obese (and not in an attractive way). Her message below the pics contain an invite to an orgy!!!! HERE IN LAGOS!!!!
She tells me she has some friends in one "swingers club" who are coming in from Canada and would like to meet up with several Nigerians interested in a private orgy!.
Meeehn...i know i can be crazy and wild, but abeg, this one pass me.
I haven't responded to her and we haven't spoken since the ending of June.
Happy new month to you all.
Life is going on and well, its not exactly what i want for myself at this stage, but i really can't complain.
So, in the spirit of openness and candor on this blog, i'll relate a crazy experience which happened to me some time ago.
Now, being a guy roaming the single wilderness looking for whom to devour..lol...one fine day after work in the office, i happened across a very intriguing dating site and though i'm not usually one to join up to such sites, given some crazy past experiences, something that day,( boredom? impulsiveness? agro? mischievous minions?) made me say..screw it all and click on the "sign up" tag on the screen.
So i get introduced into another world of online dating. This site (not going to promote them on this blog) is very different and shows all the sides of human nature you can think of.
Here i get a crash course into the world of quick meets, sex contacts, kinks, crazy fetishes, swingers, swinger parties, blogs, acronyms i've never heard of: CD, TV, TS, and the like.
The thing is, its not a local site but also caters for a worldwide audience.
I'm like a Unical babe at a sharwarma joint!
Now, i usually don't need help to get crazy and wild but there are so many things to explore. I take a simple solution of narrowing down all searches for potential matches to Nigeria and soon get a potential number of hits.
At this point, i have to confess that it's really just curiosity driving me to explore, so i take a chance, create a well crafted profile bio and send requests out to a few potential matches just for the fun of it.
An interesting profile of a middle aged woman who claims to be fifty one years old catches my eye and i also send a friend invite to her.
After a while of browsing on the site,my initial enthusiasm wears off. I log out and get back to preparing to leave for the day..
Now, fast forward about a week later, i get two emails signalling that i have unread stuff in my inbox from the site. I eagerly open it and guess what? it's from the middle aged lady.
I'm intrigued. I open it up and read a very well articulated and great email from her. Jumoke(Not real name) gives me a lot of details about herself, and tells me she loved the bio and would like for us to be friends. It's short and to the point.
Hmmm.....I like!!!
So i mail her back and that, ladies and gents, is how i get my first real life online...err...whatever..
We'd been chatting via mails for a while and seeing as this was getting kind of childish, one day i ask for her number so i can call. She laughs and tells me that as a matter of fact, i should send her my number. She informs me that seeing as she is much older and richer, she wants to be the one doing the calling (with her caller ID hidden). WOW!!!.
I don't know what to say so i put up the customary protest of course, but she is insistent. She seals the deal by telling me of a very nasty experience she had with another younger guy who turned out to be a gold digger and was always bothering her on the phone.
People, that's how the phone talks started o. Turns out she's very fun and whenever she calls, we actually have great laughs. Her number was always hidden so i really never had any chance to call her back. She's raunchy too (which i like) and sometimes i have to make sure i'm alone while taking her calls so i can respond..lol.
This goes on for weeks and i decide to take the bull by the horns and ask for us to meet. Her reaction is like....NO.
I'm a bit baffled, seeing as everything is going on well and even though this is not relationship territory, it's most certainly hookup land. I start to wonder and ask her point blank if there's any challenge to us meeting or she's not interested that way. She tells me there isn't but that she's just comfortable the way we are right now. (Hmmm indeed!!)
I decide not to push it and we go on like this for a couple of months. She even gives me her number and when i feel like it, i call her as well. This is new for me and its fun.
After all the initial gra gra, this weird online/phone relationship starts to fizzle out on both our parts. Even though i cant say why, it's not really as hot as it was initially.
Then one fateful evening, she calls me, sounding very hesitant and shy and tells me she's going to send me a few of her pictures and i can decide what i want after that.
hmmm...interesting.
She gives me another number of hers and i add her up on Whatsapp. Soon after,i get a series of pictures and a very long message.
Screeeeeeechhh. HOLD UP!
Now i can see why she's never wanted us to meet physically.
Jumoke is HUGE!! as in really obese (and not in an attractive way). Her message below the pics contain an invite to an orgy!!!! HERE IN LAGOS!!!!
She tells me she has some friends in one "swingers club" who are coming in from Canada and would like to meet up with several Nigerians interested in a private orgy!.
Meeehn...i know i can be crazy and wild, but abeg, this one pass me.
I haven't responded to her and we haven't spoken since the ending of June.
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